God did something amazing for me this Thanksgiving. As I've been processing the events of our adoption, and reflecting on everything I have to be thankful for, I realized I was actually thankful for all of the crazy mountains we faced on our adoption journey - ?!? Believe me, I did not come to this place on my own - it was all God, and this revelation He gave me:
Maggie's past is painful and ugly. It's marked with abandonment and loss not just once, but many times over. Over half of her short life was spent in an orphanage. This tiny little soul was left alone in a dark world and was toughened and forced to learn to care for herself and to become remarkably independent at an age when she should have been dependent on loving parents.
But God, in His amazing grace and love and mercy and wisdom, rewrote her story through the struggles of our adoption.
During our times of fear and uncertainty and heartbrokenness, I kept asking God WHAT He wanted us to learn? Hadn't we learned enough? Hadn't we shown that we were being obedient? What was the purpose in all of the insanity?
What He revealed to me recently was that none of the struggles were about US. Sure, we learned many things, and all four of us have walked away from this process with an entirely new and beautiful perspective of our God, but those things were just side effects of the real purpose - giving Maggie a beautiful story.
When she is old enough, she will read through everything I have recorded about her adoption - and there is NO WAY she won't see her God's hand in all of it. His name is written all over it. He, and He alone, paved the road, opened doors, removed obstacles, and orchestrated circumstances to bring her home to us. There were many points in our process where He made it crystal clear this adoption was His will and His plan.
So rather than looking at her past and seeing brokenness and ugliness, Maggie will *hopefully* see the beautiful story of how the God of the universe rescued her and gave her a new life. It amazes me that while in those uncertain moments, what I saw was testing and hardship and what was really occurring was God's amazing, profound love of Maggie - caring enough for her to give her a new past, a new story. He absolutely rocks my world, people.
And this new revelation I've had also fulfills a promise God made me after our return from our first trip. I mentioned this in a previous post, but while unpacking when we got home, I flipped my devotional calendar to the date of our horrendous court hearing where everything fell apart - June 24th. The verse on that day was John 13:7 - "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." !!!! So throughout the summer and this fall I've been waiting to "understand" why in the world we had to go through the things we did.
Now I do. It was all for Maggie.
Is He good to us or what? He didn't have to explain Himself, but in this case He did.
God was allowing mountains in our path so He could miraculously remove them as a profession of love for His little girl. In ways so obvious that she will see HIM in her past instead of the ugly. His unmistakable actions on her behalf will speak to her heart for all the years of her life.
And in His mighty sovereignty, He also gave me a gift. In recent years, I've been one who is terrified to do anything outside of God's will. It makes for paralyzing indecision at times. And early in this process, I often struggled with the question of whether or not we really should be adopting. Questioning if it was really God's plan for us? Had we heard Him correctly? Were we mistaken? Did we misunderstand? Take the wrong path? But through the obstacles God removed, it was like He took my hand and said "yes, this is the way - I have ordained it." What we went through these past several months has been hard - agonizing at times - but what I have seen God do has completely erased any doubt I may have had about being in His will. He knew what it would take to make me know, for sure. :) I know, without a doubt, we heard Him correctly, and it was His plan for Maggie to become a part of our family. Having that assurance in my life - in our lives - is priceless.
And having HIM in our lives is priceless too. Walking this road with GOD by our side, and getting a front row seat to His mighty, incredible hand at work is an experience unlike any other. It's addictive. He is REAL. He is ALIVE. He is LOVE. He is mind-blowing. This experience has left me wanting more of HIM. I can't wait to see what He has for us next. :)
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Haunted
We are settling into a routine here, which has been good for all of us, especially Maggie. She does best when she knows what's coming next. Don't we all?? :) She has been sleeping good - usually 11 hours a night, and takes an afternoon nap of 1-2 hours, so we are happy with the sleep portion of her adjustment! One downside is that she has become VERY picky about what she eats - not sure if that may have something to do with all these new options? She will eat any kind of fruit, except bananas (which was a staple in her diet in Uganda - go figure), and her other "go-to's" are yogurt, applesauce, peanut butter and pancakes. Protein and vegetables are NOT high on her list and we usually have to bribe with one of the above to get her to eat any.
One thing that's been fascinating for us to see is that this girl is FULL of personality. Which totally wears her mama out. :) As Hamza would say, "oh my lawd!" She is SO anxious to learn, repeats most of what we say, talks all the time (even if we can't understand her), counts to 20, sings the ABCs, missing the "QRSTUV," knows about 6 colors, laughs and laughs and laughs, makes jokes by mixing up our names on purpose, loves to dance, laughs some more, tickles her brothers, jumps on the furniture, attempts gymnastics moves, talks and waves to people on TV, talks to people on the phone, tries wearing ALL her jewelry at once, loves shoes, yells at Murphy constantly . . . and just totally has LIFE coming out her pores!! Can't believe the energy/entertainment/exhaustion she has brought to our family. :)
Meanwhile, I can't stop thinking about the kids left in the orphanage. I keep asking God, "why just one?" And all manner of questions bother me: Why couldn't we bring all of them back here and find them homes? Or at least 2 or 3 more? Why is it so hard for people to adopt? Why was Maggie given a family and the others haven't been? With every doctor or dentist visit, with every hug and kiss we give her, with every good meal she eats, with every goodnight, tucking her into bed, with every bonding moment, I think of those faces at her orphanage. I believe they may haunt me forever. They were just as precious as she is, and yet they still sit there, lonely, forgotten, and just a number in a crowd. She's been sick the past 24 hours, running a fever, and all she wants to do is cuddle on our laps and sleep. What do the kids in the orphanage do when they have a fever? Does anyone take their temperature and give them medicine? (From what I've seen, I doubt it.) Who cuddles the sick kids and gives them undivided attention?
I know, now more than ever, that God's plans are perfect and that He holds each one of those kids in His hands. And I know I will never get answers to my questions - but I'm trying to sort out how to deal with them. Do I pray that I could forget? I don't think so. But I find my heart heavy, and I find myself feeling guilty that I'm relieved to be home, to be back in America, to be out of Uganda. There are so many people in that country who are desperate to get out, to come here, to escape the hard life they face daily there.
All I can come up with at this point is to try and honor God with what He's blessed me with and bring up this little girl with a knowledge of the amazing things her Lord has done for her. And trust that HE will take care of the rest.
One thing that's been fascinating for us to see is that this girl is FULL of personality. Which totally wears her mama out. :) As Hamza would say, "oh my lawd!" She is SO anxious to learn, repeats most of what we say, talks all the time (even if we can't understand her), counts to 20, sings the ABCs, missing the "QRSTUV," knows about 6 colors, laughs and laughs and laughs, makes jokes by mixing up our names on purpose, loves to dance, laughs some more, tickles her brothers, jumps on the furniture, attempts gymnastics moves, talks and waves to people on TV, talks to people on the phone, tries wearing ALL her jewelry at once, loves shoes, yells at Murphy constantly . . . and just totally has LIFE coming out her pores!! Can't believe the energy/entertainment/exhaustion she has brought to our family. :)
Meanwhile, I can't stop thinking about the kids left in the orphanage. I keep asking God, "why just one?" And all manner of questions bother me: Why couldn't we bring all of them back here and find them homes? Or at least 2 or 3 more? Why is it so hard for people to adopt? Why was Maggie given a family and the others haven't been? With every doctor or dentist visit, with every hug and kiss we give her, with every good meal she eats, with every goodnight, tucking her into bed, with every bonding moment, I think of those faces at her orphanage. I believe they may haunt me forever. They were just as precious as she is, and yet they still sit there, lonely, forgotten, and just a number in a crowd. She's been sick the past 24 hours, running a fever, and all she wants to do is cuddle on our laps and sleep. What do the kids in the orphanage do when they have a fever? Does anyone take their temperature and give them medicine? (From what I've seen, I doubt it.) Who cuddles the sick kids and gives them undivided attention?
I know, now more than ever, that God's plans are perfect and that He holds each one of those kids in His hands. And I know I will never get answers to my questions - but I'm trying to sort out how to deal with them. Do I pray that I could forget? I don't think so. But I find my heart heavy, and I find myself feeling guilty that I'm relieved to be home, to be back in America, to be out of Uganda. There are so many people in that country who are desperate to get out, to come here, to escape the hard life they face daily there.
All I can come up with at this point is to try and honor God with what He's blessed me with and bring up this little girl with a knowledge of the amazing things her Lord has done for her. And trust that HE will take care of the rest.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Two Weeks Home . . .
And things haven't calmed down yet! After the entire family welcomed us home, my sister and her family left the next day, and my mom moved in for the next few days to help me get on my feet again. Shortly after she left, Mark's mom and dad came for 5 days, and just in the nick of time, as I got sick.
Nice timing.
As if coming home wasn't hard enough.
Why don't moms of very. busy. toddlers. get an exemption from illness?? I was knocked flat and yet had to drag myself to our travel doctor so I could be tested for all manner of African and exotic illnesses. :) Thankfully, all tests came back negative, and I just needed to GET THROUGH IT. Feeling better, but I can tell my body is still fighting. I think the stress of the trip and the exhaustion incurred on the way home took it's toll and my body said DONE.
And speaking of doctors, Maggie had her very thorough physical, and passed with flying colors. Her doctor was very impressed (shocked, even) with how healthy she is and how well taken care of she was. We are so thankful. She does have giardia, but the thought is that she's likely had it since she was a baby. So we're doing a 10 day course of treatment, which she hates, but takes it like a sport.
She has been busy charming the pants off everyone she meets - which is so fun for us to see. She definitely is NOT a wallflower - this little girl has a *huge* personality. Very outgoing, entertaining and a total crack-up. We are constantly amazed by what she knows and what she catches on to (and how fast). She repeats everything we say, so we have learned to be quite careful - funny how some seemingly harmless things we say sound a lot worse coming out of the mouth of a child.
The downside? She hates dogs. HATES. DOGS. We have two. Do we see the problem here?
We brought home our littler one - a cavalier who is 20 pounds and is the most kind and gentle-hearted dog ever (Murphy). Initially, Maggie acted like he was Satan himself. She's improved from that - will now at least be in the same room as him, but climbs us like trees if Murphy gets too close. Her preference is being anywhere off the ground if he's around.
Meanwhile, our golden retriever, Tucker, is at a friend's house until we see some progress in her fear of dogs. We dropped off some dog food for him today (while they weren't home) and saw him through a window in their garage and, ohhh - that was not a good plan . It broke our hearts, and he looked at us like "WHAT is going on here?" Kindof wishing I hadn't seen him - I was doing ok until then. Just praying he'll get to come home soon!
And so we continue our adjustment, and constantly wonder what Maggie is thinking. She seems to be adapting so well, but we know there are times when she is processing, and we desperately wish we knew what goes on in that precious little head. I for one look at her and am constantly in awe of God and how He pulled this family together. How He plucked her out of a hopeless, desperate situation and placed her in a huge family who adores her. Which is a beautiful reminder of exactly what He does for us - plucks us out of our lost and hopeless situations and adopts us as His own. Utterly amazing.
"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 1:3
Nice timing.
As if coming home wasn't hard enough.
Why don't moms of very. busy. toddlers. get an exemption from illness?? I was knocked flat and yet had to drag myself to our travel doctor so I could be tested for all manner of African and exotic illnesses. :) Thankfully, all tests came back negative, and I just needed to GET THROUGH IT. Feeling better, but I can tell my body is still fighting. I think the stress of the trip and the exhaustion incurred on the way home took it's toll and my body said DONE.
And speaking of doctors, Maggie had her very thorough physical, and passed with flying colors. Her doctor was very impressed (shocked, even) with how healthy she is and how well taken care of she was. We are so thankful. She does have giardia, but the thought is that she's likely had it since she was a baby. So we're doing a 10 day course of treatment, which she hates, but takes it like a sport.
She has been busy charming the pants off everyone she meets - which is so fun for us to see. She definitely is NOT a wallflower - this little girl has a *huge* personality. Very outgoing, entertaining and a total crack-up. We are constantly amazed by what she knows and what she catches on to (and how fast). She repeats everything we say, so we have learned to be quite careful - funny how some seemingly harmless things we say sound a lot worse coming out of the mouth of a child.
The downside? She hates dogs. HATES. DOGS. We have two. Do we see the problem here?
We brought home our littler one - a cavalier who is 20 pounds and is the most kind and gentle-hearted dog ever (Murphy). Initially, Maggie acted like he was Satan himself. She's improved from that - will now at least be in the same room as him, but climbs us like trees if Murphy gets too close. Her preference is being anywhere off the ground if he's around.
Meanwhile, our golden retriever, Tucker, is at a friend's house until we see some progress in her fear of dogs. We dropped off some dog food for him today (while they weren't home) and saw him through a window in their garage and, ohhh - that was not a good plan . It broke our hearts, and he looked at us like "WHAT is going on here?" Kindof wishing I hadn't seen him - I was doing ok until then. Just praying he'll get to come home soon!
And so we continue our adjustment, and constantly wonder what Maggie is thinking. She seems to be adapting so well, but we know there are times when she is processing, and we desperately wish we knew what goes on in that precious little head. I for one look at her and am constantly in awe of God and how He pulled this family together. How He plucked her out of a hopeless, desperate situation and placed her in a huge family who adores her. Which is a beautiful reminder of exactly what He does for us - plucks us out of our lost and hopeless situations and adopts us as His own. Utterly amazing.
"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 1:3
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Coming home
One of the most glorious days ever was the day we left Uganda. I know that doesn't sound very "nice" about our daughter's home country, but I'm just being real. This trip was not fun. It was grueling. It took YEARS off our lives. I know people want to hear that we just loved Uganda and were enchanted by the place, but sorry. Not our experience. We were SO READY to come home. That said, though, leaving came with some tough goodbyes. One being to our precious maid, Shamim, who was a joy to talk with everyday and treated us like family. Her twin sister and her parents were killed in a war in northern Uganda when she was NINE. Can you even imagine? A relative took her in and raised her, so she had a special heart for adoption and was so excited for all of us, especially Maggie.
And Hamza, our driver - although he was so much more than a driver to us. He became our family and will always hold an incredibly special place in our hearts. He took care of us, prayed for us, taught us the language and the culture (could not BELIEVE Mark didn't present my family with a cow when we got engaged!), made us laugh our heads off and loved us. We will never forget that it was during his prayer for us (while we were in the embassy) that God nudged him to call for our law firm to bring Maggie's father. He played a big role in bringing Maggie home, and it broke our hearts when we learned he doesn't have email or Facebook or any way to stay in touch with us. So we parted ways at the airport with huge hugs and Mark and I cried like babies saying goodbye, but at least we know we'll see him again in the presence of Jesus. And oh how we'll laugh together again.
And then our sweet friends from Tennessee. A friendship born of our adoption journeys. It is amazing to us how God brought us both to Uganda, during the exact same dates and we are all so similar. Mark and Leighton have the same job, and Mary Craig and I are kindred spirits. We have opinions - lots of them - that are totally united. :) I believe God knew exactly who we each needed to finish this process with, and I pray that this was just the beginning of a long and special friendship.
So, leaving the country also brought one more hurdle. Immigration at the airport. People, there is NO END to the insanity in this country. Mr. Immigration Officer thought he needed to pick apart the facts of our case and started asking questions. It took everything I had left in me to not jump across the counter and smack the guy. But after his little interrogation he allowed us to go, making the comment that if we were taking Maggie, then he was going to keep one of our boys. His attempt at being funny. We were not amused.
And then we started counting MINUTES until our plane would leave, feeling like at any moment, some official would come and stop us for whatever reason. Such an AWESOME feeling to be in the air, flying away with Maggie safely between us.
She was not feeling the relief/freedom/excitement, however. All she cared about was the stupid seat belt and how it was RESTRICTING HER MOVEMENT and was determined to let the entire plane know about it. Flying = NOT HER THING. Mark and I were totally beat after hour one. And we had about 38 hours left. Our itinerary?
Uganda to Ethiopia - 2 hours.
Layover of an hour and a half.
Ethiopia to Rome - 5.5 hours.
Gas stop of an hour and a half (couldn't get off the plane).
Rome to Washington DC - 9.5 hours.
Get processed through customs - MUCH more pleasant experience in this country - WOW. Can hear "Proud to be an American" playing in my mind.
Layover of 5 hours, in which Maggie consumes her first Starbucks. CAN. NOT. TELL. YOU. how unbelievable that tasted after 2+ weeks. Liquid gold, people.
Washington DC to Denver - 3.5 hours.
Layover in Denver of 1.5 hours.
Denver to Rapid City - 1 hour. In which Maggie threw up all over her "coming home" outfit. Turns out her stomach didn't appreciate the tiny turbo-prop plane bouncing around - can't say I blame her.
Walked off the plane in Rapid City and I fell apart. In front of family, friends AND a professional photographer waiting for us. Oy vey. One of my finer moments, captured in megapixels to be treasured always.
I had reached my breaking point. Coming off that plane, after everything we'd been through to bring us to this point, was overwhelming to say the least.
Thankfully, I wasn't the only one. Many tears were shed. There were some beautiful moments, watching our family and friends meet Maggie, touch her and hear her, after their hundreds of prayers for her. Having a front row seat to prayers being answered is a powerful thing.
So we stood in the airport and laughed and hugged and cried and hugged some more, and then moved the party to McDonalds.
Yes, McDonalds.
The boys' request. :) And after everything we have been through, the boys get pretty much anything they want these days. (This will be short-lived, rest assured).
Then we came home to more surprises - a re-stocked refrigerator, meals in the freezer, a clean house, clean sheets, flowers, balloons, a beautiful banner welcoming Maggie home, and people willing to allow us to fall into their arms and just be cared for. It was like Jesus was here welcoming us home Himself.
So we've been home a little over 48 hours and things are going as well as can be expected. Maggie loved her room - my sweet family even filled her room with pictures of her with us, her with her friends at the orphanage and she was taken by all of it. She seems to have made herself at home and we are attempting to settle into a routine. One thing we've discovered is she LOVES puzzles. And shoes. And fruit. And copying everything we say. Reminded of how careful we have to be when we heard her saying "idiot." Ooops.
And so I will continue to record Maggie's adjustment to home, to us, to American life here on this blog. Thankfully, (hopefully?) the stories will not be as crazy or adventurous - however, we are 100% convinced that God has big plans for this little girl, considering this story so far, and so we will try to shepherd her story well. It is our prayer that you have -and will- see HIM in our experiences and her life. And we pray that someday, she will fully understand how deep and how wide and how vast her Father's love for her is. He's not through yet!
And Hamza, our driver - although he was so much more than a driver to us. He became our family and will always hold an incredibly special place in our hearts. He took care of us, prayed for us, taught us the language and the culture (could not BELIEVE Mark didn't present my family with a cow when we got engaged!), made us laugh our heads off and loved us. We will never forget that it was during his prayer for us (while we were in the embassy) that God nudged him to call for our law firm to bring Maggie's father. He played a big role in bringing Maggie home, and it broke our hearts when we learned he doesn't have email or Facebook or any way to stay in touch with us. So we parted ways at the airport with huge hugs and Mark and I cried like babies saying goodbye, but at least we know we'll see him again in the presence of Jesus. And oh how we'll laugh together again.
So, leaving the country also brought one more hurdle. Immigration at the airport. People, there is NO END to the insanity in this country. Mr. Immigration Officer thought he needed to pick apart the facts of our case and started asking questions. It took everything I had left in me to not jump across the counter and smack the guy. But after his little interrogation he allowed us to go, making the comment that if we were taking Maggie, then he was going to keep one of our boys. His attempt at being funny. We were not amused.
And then we started counting MINUTES until our plane would leave, feeling like at any moment, some official would come and stop us for whatever reason. Such an AWESOME feeling to be in the air, flying away with Maggie safely between us.
She was not feeling the relief/freedom/excitement, however. All she cared about was the stupid seat belt and how it was RESTRICTING HER MOVEMENT and was determined to let the entire plane know about it. Flying = NOT HER THING. Mark and I were totally beat after hour one. And we had about 38 hours left. Our itinerary?
Uganda to Ethiopia - 2 hours.
Layover of an hour and a half.
Ethiopia to Rome - 5.5 hours.
Gas stop of an hour and a half (couldn't get off the plane).
Rome to Washington DC - 9.5 hours.
Get processed through customs - MUCH more pleasant experience in this country - WOW. Can hear "Proud to be an American" playing in my mind.
Layover of 5 hours, in which Maggie consumes her first Starbucks. CAN. NOT. TELL. YOU. how unbelievable that tasted after 2+ weeks. Liquid gold, people.
Washington DC to Denver - 3.5 hours.
Layover in Denver of 1.5 hours.
Denver to Rapid City - 1 hour. In which Maggie threw up all over her "coming home" outfit. Turns out her stomach didn't appreciate the tiny turbo-prop plane bouncing around - can't say I blame her.
Walked off the plane in Rapid City and I fell apart. In front of family, friends AND a professional photographer waiting for us. Oy vey. One of my finer moments, captured in megapixels to be treasured always.
I had reached my breaking point. Coming off that plane, after everything we'd been through to bring us to this point, was overwhelming to say the least.
Thankfully, I wasn't the only one. Many tears were shed. There were some beautiful moments, watching our family and friends meet Maggie, touch her and hear her, after their hundreds of prayers for her. Having a front row seat to prayers being answered is a powerful thing.
So we stood in the airport and laughed and hugged and cried and hugged some more, and then moved the party to McDonalds.
Yes, McDonalds.
The boys' request. :) And after everything we have been through, the boys get pretty much anything they want these days. (This will be short-lived, rest assured).
Then we came home to more surprises - a re-stocked refrigerator, meals in the freezer, a clean house, clean sheets, flowers, balloons, a beautiful banner welcoming Maggie home, and people willing to allow us to fall into their arms and just be cared for. It was like Jesus was here welcoming us home Himself.
So we've been home a little over 48 hours and things are going as well as can be expected. Maggie loved her room - my sweet family even filled her room with pictures of her with us, her with her friends at the orphanage and she was taken by all of it. She seems to have made herself at home and we are attempting to settle into a routine. One thing we've discovered is she LOVES puzzles. And shoes. And fruit. And copying everything we say. Reminded of how careful we have to be when we heard her saying "idiot." Ooops.
And so I will continue to record Maggie's adjustment to home, to us, to American life here on this blog. Thankfully, (hopefully?) the stories will not be as crazy or adventurous - however, we are 100% convinced that God has big plans for this little girl, considering this story so far, and so we will try to shepherd her story well. It is our prayer that you have -and will- see HIM in our experiences and her life. And we pray that someday, she will fully understand how deep and how wide and how vast her Father's love for her is. He's not through yet!
Friday, October 18, 2013
Days 9 - 10
Thought I'd better post something since I didn't yesterday - it was a "down" day for us, which was nice.
It's amazing how much recovery time we need after each of these adventures.
We've decided we've aged at least 10 years on this trip. Uff da. :) And Jack
and Noah have probably aged at least 5. They are amazing - a couple times Noah
has talked us down out of a tree about one thing or another - he can be so
level-headed and clear at times when we are not. And we are watching Jack grow
into a man each day - it's amazing and horrifying to me all at the same time.
His hands are huge, we can see the bone structure in his face changing and now
Mark was pointing out the hair above his lip (!!) . . . and it's very obvious
his voice is changing. It tears at my heart!! And speaking of hearts, God is
doing something serious in his and I hope I live to see the day when it plays
out - this boy has a HEART for Uganda and the people here. It's something we
can't even relate to, to be honest. He told us tonight he's sad about leaving. ?!?!? And Mark and I are
counting MINUTES, people. MINUTES.
So yesterday was HAIR day for Maggie! Our maid, Shamim, who has become a friend to us, hooked us up with her hair gal, who came to the hotel to do Maggie's hair. She arrived at 10 a.m., after traveling TWO HOURS to get here! She left home at 8 a.m. and had to walk quite a ways to get to a boda boda, who brought her the rest of the way. Then it took an hour and 45 minutes to do Maggie's hair (I have video - can't wait to show you - her hands seriously moved so fast you could hardly see them). Guess what she charged us? $16. Is that insane or what?? We paid her much more than that because that seemed ridiculous to us. She was thrilled. And Maggie was too - we could tell she felt pretty special. She was a CHAMP - sat there perfectly the whole time without ever fussing or fidgeting once. I think she's been trained. So this new 'do should last about 3 weeks - then I need to figure out what to do next! Ha!
Today we went into town - our last day with Hamza (aside from him driving us to the airport) - we had to drop off gifts at the law firm, get passport pictures of US for the airport (yes, ridiculous), then go to the embassy to pick up Maggie's visa, and then went shopping at an African craft market with our friends from TN. Thankfully the embassy stop was quick - Mark was nervous about it because everyone here is on crazy high alert over this terrorist stuff. Evidently Uganda has been put on notice that they are next, so security measures everywhere have gone into overdrive. CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE. Anyway, the kids and I all stayed in the car with Hamza down the street, while Mark went in and it only took him 10 minutes.
Then we got to shop. However, not so fun with a 2 year old! Who has never shopped! And she is a shopper! She wanted to check out EVERYTHING. I would have loved to have spent hours there, but it wasn't possible. We found some fun stuff - and Jack and Noah very carefully picked stuff out for their buddies (with their own money!), which was really cute.
I also posted many pictures today on the photo site https://5happycampers.shutterfly.com/pictures - you need to check them out and see Maggie's hair! Oh and Jack wanted me to fill you in about his bedtime adventure - he walked over into their room to brush his teeth and we could hear him making these horrible noises - - he comes back looking FREAKED out and said there was a cockroach in their room. Mark ran in with his shoes and killed it, but oh. my. word. people - it was huge. First one we've seen here - this place is so clean and so well kept, so we were kind of surprised. ICK. Not sure if the boys will sleep tonight much. :( Jack searched the whole room, top to bottom, with a flashlight, so we're hoping that's the last one we see. One thing we see a LOT of are tiny lizards (not in our room - outside) - they hang on the walls and ceilings outside, and they are CUTE. Seriously! Anywhere from 1-4 inches long and fast as the speed of light. I also saw a bigger one at the pool one day - more like 8-10 inches long and BEAUTIFUL blue.
Ok that's it for now - except prayer requests!
1) Pray that we get through airport immigration with NO DRAMA. That they won't even blink an eye at us!
2) Pray for our safety until we get out of here - we're watching our embassy warnings and not going near any likely targets, but prayers wouldn't hurt.
3) Pray we can ALL get some decent sleep on the plane - especially the 17 hour flight.
So yesterday was HAIR day for Maggie! Our maid, Shamim, who has become a friend to us, hooked us up with her hair gal, who came to the hotel to do Maggie's hair. She arrived at 10 a.m., after traveling TWO HOURS to get here! She left home at 8 a.m. and had to walk quite a ways to get to a boda boda, who brought her the rest of the way. Then it took an hour and 45 minutes to do Maggie's hair (I have video - can't wait to show you - her hands seriously moved so fast you could hardly see them). Guess what she charged us? $16. Is that insane or what?? We paid her much more than that because that seemed ridiculous to us. She was thrilled. And Maggie was too - we could tell she felt pretty special. She was a CHAMP - sat there perfectly the whole time without ever fussing or fidgeting once. I think she's been trained. So this new 'do should last about 3 weeks - then I need to figure out what to do next! Ha!
Today we went into town - our last day with Hamza (aside from him driving us to the airport) - we had to drop off gifts at the law firm, get passport pictures of US for the airport (yes, ridiculous), then go to the embassy to pick up Maggie's visa, and then went shopping at an African craft market with our friends from TN. Thankfully the embassy stop was quick - Mark was nervous about it because everyone here is on crazy high alert over this terrorist stuff. Evidently Uganda has been put on notice that they are next, so security measures everywhere have gone into overdrive. CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE. Anyway, the kids and I all stayed in the car with Hamza down the street, while Mark went in and it only took him 10 minutes.
Then we got to shop. However, not so fun with a 2 year old! Who has never shopped! And she is a shopper! She wanted to check out EVERYTHING. I would have loved to have spent hours there, but it wasn't possible. We found some fun stuff - and Jack and Noah very carefully picked stuff out for their buddies (with their own money!), which was really cute.
I also posted many pictures today on the photo site https://5happycampers.shutterfly.com/pictures - you need to check them out and see Maggie's hair! Oh and Jack wanted me to fill you in about his bedtime adventure - he walked over into their room to brush his teeth and we could hear him making these horrible noises - - he comes back looking FREAKED out and said there was a cockroach in their room. Mark ran in with his shoes and killed it, but oh. my. word. people - it was huge. First one we've seen here - this place is so clean and so well kept, so we were kind of surprised. ICK. Not sure if the boys will sleep tonight much. :( Jack searched the whole room, top to bottom, with a flashlight, so we're hoping that's the last one we see. One thing we see a LOT of are tiny lizards (not in our room - outside) - they hang on the walls and ceilings outside, and they are CUTE. Seriously! Anywhere from 1-4 inches long and fast as the speed of light. I also saw a bigger one at the pool one day - more like 8-10 inches long and BEAUTIFUL blue.
Ok that's it for now - except prayer requests!
1) Pray that we get through airport immigration with NO DRAMA. That they won't even blink an eye at us!
2) Pray for our safety until we get out of here - we're watching our embassy warnings and not going near any likely targets, but prayers wouldn't hurt.
3) Pray we can ALL get some decent sleep on the plane - especially the 17 hour flight.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Day 8 - the craziest yet
Ok so I sat down to type this update and told Mark
that no one is even going to believe this stuff anymore. Seriously.
We have experienced and witnessed the absolute craziest things over
here! So are you ready for today? It's a doozy . . .
We left the hotel at 6:00 a.m. to get to the IOM clinic before it opened. We got in and out of there, no problems - they even took us back first! Maggie is 30 pounds, had a negative TB test, and checked out fine. Thank you God!
So we head directly to the embassy. On the way, however, Hamza was a little slow getting moving from a stopped position in traffic, so he got pulled over. ?!? Dumb. And then the cop took his license away. We got swept up in the moving traffic, so Hamza then had to find somewhere to stop and park and WALK back through traffic to find the cop who had his license. Uggh. It's total insanity here, people.
We get to the embassy aka Fort Knox. Good grief they have that place locked down - it's rather intimidating. The point of this initial visit was to: 1) hand in all our paperwork, and 2) request our visa interview. We immediately had problems. The enormous online form I’d spent I-don’t-know-how-much-time on yesterday didn’t load to their system (yes, it has to be done online) so we were told we needed to re-do it with a new case number. And Hajji’s (Maggie’s father) consent and affidavit were photocopies – they needed originals – AND they needed a consent in his native language. ?? New requirement. They can change the rules at any point in the game, and to say it’s unnerving is an understatement. The good news was that the official told us we could get an interview TODAY at 2:30 p.m. if we could produce the above-referenced documents and get the online thing done again – by 12:30. It was 10:30 a.m.
So we tear out of there and tracked down an internet café – which was a shack about 16x10, crowded and hot. I sit there with all my documents and managed to pluck it all out in record time. Next stop: our law firm, where they were to be tracking down the “originals.” Upon arrival, we learned they didn’t have the consent in Hajji’s native language, so they drafted one quick, and sent Hashim (remember, the passport guy?) to track Hajji down to sign it. By the time we got there, Hashim was back, consent signed in Lugandan. They managed to pull all that off in 45 minutes – we were stunned.
Back to the embassy we went, 3 original documents in our hot fists. Mark “ran” them into the embassy (it took almost an hour) while we waited in the car and ROASTED. Mark gets back to the car and says there’s trouble on the horizon, because they warned him they may want to see Hajji in person anyway. Fabulous.
So I sent our attorney a text, and told her someone should at least warn Hajji that he may be needed this afternoon.
Then we grabbed “lunch” at a gas station – ha – which consisted of milk and peanuts for Maggie, chips and pop for Mark and the boys and water and a protein bar for me. You can’t just grab safe food here – there are select few restaurants we would trust in the whole city, let alone in the neighborhood we were in.
And then back to the embassy for the 3rd time today. Mark and I both had pits in our stomachs and were very anxious, so Hamza promised us he would sit outside and wait for us and “play” (pray). J We head in and see our TN friends just as they go in for their interview. They come out 20 min later, all smiles – they get their visa on Friday. Ok, that helps.
We get called in. The first questions are about our tax returns – yes, we can support this child. Then she asks about Maggie’s background. I report it as I know it, and it isn’t more than 3 minutes in when things get ugly. She sees discrepancies. (Okay – this is Uganda – you are not EVER going to find 4-5 witnesses who are all going to say the same thing – it just isn’t possible). She starts firing off questions we have no idea how to answer (i.e. why was Maggie taken to that particular orphanage? Describe her parents’ marriage – describe their divorce) ??? REALLY? We have NO IDEA! MANY total left-field questions that were unanswerable – and the worst part is she was enjoying this interrogation. I have to pause here and tell you how disheartening it was to be on American soil, and be treated like criminals. We expected this to be an oasis, a place of support from fellow Americans – ha – NOT. Then she grills us about why we chose Uganda to adopt from. She was extraordinarily suspicious and we could see we were in trouble. She informed us that with such a “complicated” case like this, she needed to see the father and question him – and then would determine what the “next steps” would be. ?!?!? She asked us to bring him back tomorrow at 2:30.
I’m biting my cheek, holding back tears as I turn around and go out to the waiting room, making a beeline for the door before I cry. The guard at the door starts motioning at us to turn around.
We turn around and THERE SITS HAJJI.
No, seriously. Sitting in the waiting room.
I had no idea how or why he was there but I wanted to hug the man. (But I didn’t).
Mary, one of the social workers at the law firm, brought him. We run back into the interview room and tell Ms. Visa Nazi that HE’S HERE! She arranges for an interpreter and brings him in.
We head outside for some fresh air while he’s questioned. During that time, Mary sits with us and tells us some very interesting things. Evidently Hajji is still celebrating the Muslim holiday that occurred yesterday – in his sect, it’s 3 days. So when asked to come to the embassy, he had told them no. Mary – I love this girl – said “Ok. You don’t have to come. But when the Roisums get denied their visa, we are bringing Maggie directly to YOU, not back to the orphanage. She’s your responsibility.” He told her “ok, let’s go.” She also told us his history of being not very cooperative and playing fast and loose with the truth, so we were not optimistic about what was going on in the interview room.
He came out after ½ an hour. We were called back in, and the gal wouldn’t even make eye contact with us. Said Hajji’s testimony was concerning because it didn’t match some of his other statements and she had “serious concerns” about this case. Whatever.
But she decided to grant our visa application anyway. We can pick up Maggie’s visa on Friday at noon and we are FREE TO LEAVE.
There were tears.
We all headed outside and took some pictures – with Maggie’s father – because we decided it may be important to her later on in life. Then he went on his way, and it was the strangest thing for me to watch this man walk away from his child.
Here’s the kicker, though – once in the car, we told Hamza the story, and told him we had no idea why Mary brought Hajji to the embassy. He told us he was sitting in his car praying for us, as he promised he would, and had the notion he should call our attorney (Alice) and tell her they should bring Hajji. !!! Oh yes he did. He called Alice, and – get this – she told him that Mary already had Hajji at the office, and she would send them immediately. !!!
IS OUR GOD AMAZING OR WHAT???
There seriously aren’t words to describe what it’s like to see something like this play out right before us. HE MOVES MOUNTAINS, PEOPLE – and not just one – SEVERAL.
I’m sure some of you are thinking – well aren’t you concerned that the embassy was concerned about your case?
No. We aren’t.
God has made it absolutely crystal clear to us that this little girl belongs in our family, and we are indeed comfortable with the facts of her case. Yes there are minor discrepancies but THIS IS A 3RD WORLD COUNTRY for crying out loud, and none of the questions change the fact that this little girl is an orphan and has sat in an orphanage for a year and a half.
People, our agency told us this remaining 3-step process would take weeks. We finished it in 6 business days. This is UNHEARD of. People here are in shock. Our God is SOVEREIGN and FAITHFUL. We all know Him now in ways we never thought possible. This has been a long, tough journey – but oh, to have a front-row seat to the workings of the Almighty God is a spectacular thing.
So we are COMING HOME. Hopefully this weekend but that will depend on available flights. We received a warning from the Embassy today about a terrorist threat to Uganda similar to what happened in Kenya, so we are feeling the urgency. And I may just kiss American soil once we’re on it again!
There aren’t words to thank you all for praying – I hope you can see answers to your prayers in all these crazy stories. HE HEARD. HE ANSWERED. HE IS GOOD!
We left the hotel at 6:00 a.m. to get to the IOM clinic before it opened. We got in and out of there, no problems - they even took us back first! Maggie is 30 pounds, had a negative TB test, and checked out fine. Thank you God!
So we head directly to the embassy. On the way, however, Hamza was a little slow getting moving from a stopped position in traffic, so he got pulled over. ?!? Dumb. And then the cop took his license away. We got swept up in the moving traffic, so Hamza then had to find somewhere to stop and park and WALK back through traffic to find the cop who had his license. Uggh. It's total insanity here, people.
We get to the embassy aka Fort Knox. Good grief they have that place locked down - it's rather intimidating. The point of this initial visit was to: 1) hand in all our paperwork, and 2) request our visa interview. We immediately had problems. The enormous online form I’d spent I-don’t-know-how-much-time on yesterday didn’t load to their system (yes, it has to be done online) so we were told we needed to re-do it with a new case number. And Hajji’s (Maggie’s father) consent and affidavit were photocopies – they needed originals – AND they needed a consent in his native language. ?? New requirement. They can change the rules at any point in the game, and to say it’s unnerving is an understatement. The good news was that the official told us we could get an interview TODAY at 2:30 p.m. if we could produce the above-referenced documents and get the online thing done again – by 12:30. It was 10:30 a.m.
So we tear out of there and tracked down an internet café – which was a shack about 16x10, crowded and hot. I sit there with all my documents and managed to pluck it all out in record time. Next stop: our law firm, where they were to be tracking down the “originals.” Upon arrival, we learned they didn’t have the consent in Hajji’s native language, so they drafted one quick, and sent Hashim (remember, the passport guy?) to track Hajji down to sign it. By the time we got there, Hashim was back, consent signed in Lugandan. They managed to pull all that off in 45 minutes – we were stunned.
Back to the embassy we went, 3 original documents in our hot fists. Mark “ran” them into the embassy (it took almost an hour) while we waited in the car and ROASTED. Mark gets back to the car and says there’s trouble on the horizon, because they warned him they may want to see Hajji in person anyway. Fabulous.
So I sent our attorney a text, and told her someone should at least warn Hajji that he may be needed this afternoon.
Then we grabbed “lunch” at a gas station – ha – which consisted of milk and peanuts for Maggie, chips and pop for Mark and the boys and water and a protein bar for me. You can’t just grab safe food here – there are select few restaurants we would trust in the whole city, let alone in the neighborhood we were in.
And then back to the embassy for the 3rd time today. Mark and I both had pits in our stomachs and were very anxious, so Hamza promised us he would sit outside and wait for us and “play” (pray). J We head in and see our TN friends just as they go in for their interview. They come out 20 min later, all smiles – they get their visa on Friday. Ok, that helps.
We get called in. The first questions are about our tax returns – yes, we can support this child. Then she asks about Maggie’s background. I report it as I know it, and it isn’t more than 3 minutes in when things get ugly. She sees discrepancies. (Okay – this is Uganda – you are not EVER going to find 4-5 witnesses who are all going to say the same thing – it just isn’t possible). She starts firing off questions we have no idea how to answer (i.e. why was Maggie taken to that particular orphanage? Describe her parents’ marriage – describe their divorce) ??? REALLY? We have NO IDEA! MANY total left-field questions that were unanswerable – and the worst part is she was enjoying this interrogation. I have to pause here and tell you how disheartening it was to be on American soil, and be treated like criminals. We expected this to be an oasis, a place of support from fellow Americans – ha – NOT. Then she grills us about why we chose Uganda to adopt from. She was extraordinarily suspicious and we could see we were in trouble. She informed us that with such a “complicated” case like this, she needed to see the father and question him – and then would determine what the “next steps” would be. ?!?!? She asked us to bring him back tomorrow at 2:30.
I’m biting my cheek, holding back tears as I turn around and go out to the waiting room, making a beeline for the door before I cry. The guard at the door starts motioning at us to turn around.
We turn around and THERE SITS HAJJI.
No, seriously. Sitting in the waiting room.
I had no idea how or why he was there but I wanted to hug the man. (But I didn’t).
Mary, one of the social workers at the law firm, brought him. We run back into the interview room and tell Ms. Visa Nazi that HE’S HERE! She arranges for an interpreter and brings him in.
We head outside for some fresh air while he’s questioned. During that time, Mary sits with us and tells us some very interesting things. Evidently Hajji is still celebrating the Muslim holiday that occurred yesterday – in his sect, it’s 3 days. So when asked to come to the embassy, he had told them no. Mary – I love this girl – said “Ok. You don’t have to come. But when the Roisums get denied their visa, we are bringing Maggie directly to YOU, not back to the orphanage. She’s your responsibility.” He told her “ok, let’s go.” She also told us his history of being not very cooperative and playing fast and loose with the truth, so we were not optimistic about what was going on in the interview room.
He came out after ½ an hour. We were called back in, and the gal wouldn’t even make eye contact with us. Said Hajji’s testimony was concerning because it didn’t match some of his other statements and she had “serious concerns” about this case. Whatever.
But she decided to grant our visa application anyway. We can pick up Maggie’s visa on Friday at noon and we are FREE TO LEAVE.
There were tears.
We all headed outside and took some pictures – with Maggie’s father – because we decided it may be important to her later on in life. Then he went on his way, and it was the strangest thing for me to watch this man walk away from his child.
Here’s the kicker, though – once in the car, we told Hamza the story, and told him we had no idea why Mary brought Hajji to the embassy. He told us he was sitting in his car praying for us, as he promised he would, and had the notion he should call our attorney (Alice) and tell her they should bring Hajji. !!! Oh yes he did. He called Alice, and – get this – she told him that Mary already had Hajji at the office, and she would send them immediately. !!!
IS OUR GOD AMAZING OR WHAT???
There seriously aren’t words to describe what it’s like to see something like this play out right before us. HE MOVES MOUNTAINS, PEOPLE – and not just one – SEVERAL.
I’m sure some of you are thinking – well aren’t you concerned that the embassy was concerned about your case?
No. We aren’t.
God has made it absolutely crystal clear to us that this little girl belongs in our family, and we are indeed comfortable with the facts of her case. Yes there are minor discrepancies but THIS IS A 3RD WORLD COUNTRY for crying out loud, and none of the questions change the fact that this little girl is an orphan and has sat in an orphanage for a year and a half.
People, our agency told us this remaining 3-step process would take weeks. We finished it in 6 business days. This is UNHEARD of. People here are in shock. Our God is SOVEREIGN and FAITHFUL. We all know Him now in ways we never thought possible. This has been a long, tough journey – but oh, to have a front-row seat to the workings of the Almighty God is a spectacular thing.
So we are COMING HOME. Hopefully this weekend but that will depend on available flights. We received a warning from the Embassy today about a terrorist threat to Uganda similar to what happened in Kenya, so we are feeling the urgency. And I may just kiss American soil once we’re on it again!
There aren’t words to thank you all for praying – I hope you can see answers to your prayers in all these crazy stories. HE HEARD. HE ANSWERED. HE IS GOOD!
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Day 7
We are having a quiet day around here, which we needed after yesterday, and in preparation for
whatever awaits us tomorrow!
Maggie's had a great day so far - no major fits, so we are happy and
thankful for that. She finally got into her Color Wonder markers and thinks
they're fascinating, so that's kept her busy, which is helpful. We all tend to
get a little stir-crazy here, her included. I worked on embassy paperwork most
of the morning, the kids all played well, we spent some time outside with our TN
friends and now Maggie's been having a good nap. That's about it!
What we REALLY, REALLY, desperately need, though, is a great deal of prayer for tomorrow. Starting now! I'm having major anxiety, and Mark is having a fair amount as well, about what we'll encounter next - mainly at the embassy. It seems we are never prepared for whatever curveballs come our way, and we are weary of being bowled over time and again. We don't anticipate problems in finishing up at the IOM clinic in the morning, but pray that it goes smoothly anyway! As for the embassy, pray that:
1) We have all the correct documents, and they are completed correctly;
2) That they WON'T ASK FOR WITNESSES. This one is big. If they ask for Hajji to appear in person, that could turn into a nightmare (getting him to come, and when, etc.).
3) And then for the "big ask" - that we could have our visa interview tomorrow afternoon! That would be AMAZING.
We are obviously praying too - but probably not as thoughtfully, thoroughly or eloquently as those of you who are more "removed" from the situation. :) The only reason we are surviving this is GOD, and His providence, and we believe He listens and answers.
Thank you so much for all you are doing, and have already done for us - this is such a group effort, it amazes me. We couldn't do this without all of you!!
I will update tomorrow as soon as I am able.
What we REALLY, REALLY, desperately need, though, is a great deal of prayer for tomorrow. Starting now! I'm having major anxiety, and Mark is having a fair amount as well, about what we'll encounter next - mainly at the embassy. It seems we are never prepared for whatever curveballs come our way, and we are weary of being bowled over time and again. We don't anticipate problems in finishing up at the IOM clinic in the morning, but pray that it goes smoothly anyway! As for the embassy, pray that:
1) We have all the correct documents, and they are completed correctly;
2) That they WON'T ASK FOR WITNESSES. This one is big. If they ask for Hajji to appear in person, that could turn into a nightmare (getting him to come, and when, etc.).
3) And then for the "big ask" - that we could have our visa interview tomorrow afternoon! That would be AMAZING.
We are obviously praying too - but probably not as thoughtfully, thoroughly or eloquently as those of you who are more "removed" from the situation. :) The only reason we are surviving this is GOD, and His providence, and we believe He listens and answers.
Thank you so much for all you are doing, and have already done for us - this is such a group effort, it amazes me. We couldn't do this without all of you!!
I will update tomorrow as soon as I am able.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Day 6
We are EXHAUSTED, but saw a
miracle take place today -
seriously - and I think that's the only reason we're still functioning. So here
goes (grab a cup of coffee - this gets long because I want Maggie to know all of
it someday):
We leave the hotel at 6 a.m. to beat traffic - even then, it takes an hour and 15 min to get to our attorney's office. Upon arrival there, the receptionist informs us that the IOM clinic likely isn't open today because it's Columbus Day. ?!?! We said our understanding is that it's a Ugandan-run clinic? Yes, she said, but they observe both US and Ugandan holidays. Oh. Well isn't that nice? Good for them. We decide we're going to check it out anyway, and head over there with Stella, the social worker with the firm.
We arrive, and good news - they're open! Happy dance. Stella goes to the desk and chats for a while, then comes back and says we have a problem. My heart hit the floor. When someone says that in Uganda, it's usually a BIG problem. The normal procedure is for families to come in, pay their fee, hand over their paperwork, get their file started and then come back the next business day for their appointment. We were hoping for an exception - that we could be seen TODAY. They see children only on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Tomorrow is a Ugandan holiday (Muslim - something to do with the moon phase), so they are closed. Next business day for children is Friday. Oh, but guess what - the doctors are in training that day. So we can't get an appointment until next Monday. At which point they have to administer a TB test (which is fluid inserted under the skin and you wait for a reaction for 48-72 hours), so we wouldn't be finished with the IOM until a week from Wed. - - except they don't see children on Wed., so who knows when the test can get read and be finished.
I ask if we can go talk to the reception/scheduling guy. Stella says Mark can, but I should stay put. (Cultural thing - you know, a woman's place).
So Mark goes and pleads our case with the guy but he's not hearing it - there is a procedure in place, this is policy, yada yada yada.
Mark comes back looking like he'd been punched in the gut.
And this is where Mark flips out. He looks at Stella (and this isn't her fault) and says "Well, I'm leaving."
?!?! Say what?
I'm thinking "YOU'RE leaving? And the rest of us . . .?" But he told me afterwards he meant "us." I hope so. :)
She looks back at him like he's crazy and then he tells me he needs some air and leaves the building.
My head is spinning at this point and I can't even comprehend what this means. I do a fast calculation and it appears like we'll be stuck here for another two weeks, minimum.
Mark comes back (thank GOD!) and says we're changing our tickets and going home tonight or tomorrow, and Stella can finish up the medical process for us and we'll come back in a month or so and do the embassy stuff. Stella says "ok." (What else can she say at this point? She could tell Mark was on the verge).
So there's our plan.
But first we have to sit and wait to pay the fee and get our appointment time for next week.
So we sit for an hour, and finally get to pay our fee. The gal at the "fee desk" tells us to go back and wait, and we'll be called again to receive our appointment time.
So we sit for another hour.
All the while, thinking "Really, God? How can this be? Why did you give us Maggie's passport in 2 days - RECORD time? Wasn't there a reason for that? This doesn't make sense!"
And all the while with Mark rattling on endlessly to Stella about everything that's wrong with Uganda. Seriously said some things he shouldn't have. But she found him funny, and she was fine with his tirade, thankfully.
The waiting room empties, and it's just us and a couple other people left.
A nurse, who has walked back and forth past us numerous times in the past 2 hours, approaches me and kindly says "Did you have an appointment?"
I tell her no, we've paid our fee, but are waiting for our appointment time, and isn't there any way we could please possibly be squeezed in today?
She says, well, let me see what I can do - and immediately grabs a doctor walking by. Explains to that doctor that we've paid our fee, and could we have our exam? The doctor (witch) says "No. We are finished here today. You come back next Monday." And leaves. (It's 10:15 a.m.)
The nurse then goes over to the appointment desk and talks to Mr. Procedure, but he won't budge - yammers on about the TB test and the scheduling just doesn't work, etc.
The nurse then finds another doctor, explains the situation to her - - an angel in disguise - finally, someone who had a heart.
They devise a plan in which we have Maggie's TB test administered right now, and then read at her exam appointment on Wednesday.
Wait a minute - what? Wednesday?
Yes, we'll make an exception for you - you bring her in at 7:30 and we'll check her out quick.
If I wasn't concerned about the cultural aspects of public displays of affection, I would have hit the floor and kissed their feet.
Mark grabbed the nurse and hugged her.
She was thrilled she was able to help us, and proceeded to apologize for the inconvenience this morning.
COULD. NOT. BELIEVE. IT.
And oh, you should have seen Stella's face - remember, she's done this with several families. She looked like she'd seen a ghost.
As we walked Maggie back to the lab, once again I felt like I was living someone else's life - a few minutes ago, we were talking about coming home, and yet here we were - the waters had been parted again.
The nurse gave us her name - Michelle - and told us to ask for her when we get there on Wednesday.
We just may use her name for Maggie's middle name. :)
As we walk out into the parking lot, Stella, still looking shocked, looks at us and says "that was A MIRACLE! They made a special exception for YOU!" I think she was stunned for several minutes. As were we - so strange, being completely overwhelmed at what in the world to do next, and then having God step in and solve it. Love having the front row seat to His hand at work, but oh my, the highs and lows - and the vast space between them - are exhausting.
And so we are watching this little spot on Maggie's arm, praying it doesn't react and get bigger (no, I have no idea what happens if it's positive). After we're done at the IOM place on Wednesday, we'll head straight over to the embassy to have them look over our paperwork, and hopefully schedule our visa interview.
Our victory this morning was followed by a tough afternoon with Maggie - thinking she got overtired (she was up at 5:00), didn't like to get poked with a needle, and really didn't like it that Jack and Noah went swimming (she saw them in their suits) and she didn't get to (can't get her arm wet). The combination of all those really set her off (even AFTER her nap) and by the end of the day, Mark and I were taking shifts off and on to clear (and cool) our heads. This evening, she was delightful again. ?? We braced ourselves at bedtime, but she only fussed for about 1 minute and that was the end of it. Thank you, Jesus!
So I need some sleep! I know I have one round of photos I haven't posted yet - haven't had the time, and the internet is not good most of the time. Will try to post them tomorrow.
Prayer requests:
- No more difficulties at the IOM clinic - that we could be in and out quickly, with no hiccups.
- That the embassy interview could be scheduled quickly and that they would NOT ask for any witnesses (we realize this isn't likely, but it doesn't hurt to pray about it).
- Peace and calm for Maggie and whatever she's experiencing in her mind. Patience for the rest of us.
We leave the hotel at 6 a.m. to beat traffic - even then, it takes an hour and 15 min to get to our attorney's office. Upon arrival there, the receptionist informs us that the IOM clinic likely isn't open today because it's Columbus Day. ?!?! We said our understanding is that it's a Ugandan-run clinic? Yes, she said, but they observe both US and Ugandan holidays. Oh. Well isn't that nice? Good for them. We decide we're going to check it out anyway, and head over there with Stella, the social worker with the firm.
We arrive, and good news - they're open! Happy dance. Stella goes to the desk and chats for a while, then comes back and says we have a problem. My heart hit the floor. When someone says that in Uganda, it's usually a BIG problem. The normal procedure is for families to come in, pay their fee, hand over their paperwork, get their file started and then come back the next business day for their appointment. We were hoping for an exception - that we could be seen TODAY. They see children only on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Tomorrow is a Ugandan holiday (Muslim - something to do with the moon phase), so they are closed. Next business day for children is Friday. Oh, but guess what - the doctors are in training that day. So we can't get an appointment until next Monday. At which point they have to administer a TB test (which is fluid inserted under the skin and you wait for a reaction for 48-72 hours), so we wouldn't be finished with the IOM until a week from Wed. - - except they don't see children on Wed., so who knows when the test can get read and be finished.
I ask if we can go talk to the reception/scheduling guy. Stella says Mark can, but I should stay put. (Cultural thing - you know, a woman's place).
So Mark goes and pleads our case with the guy but he's not hearing it - there is a procedure in place, this is policy, yada yada yada.
Mark comes back looking like he'd been punched in the gut.
And this is where Mark flips out. He looks at Stella (and this isn't her fault) and says "Well, I'm leaving."
?!?! Say what?
I'm thinking "YOU'RE leaving? And the rest of us . . .?" But he told me afterwards he meant "us." I hope so. :)
She looks back at him like he's crazy and then he tells me he needs some air and leaves the building.
My head is spinning at this point and I can't even comprehend what this means. I do a fast calculation and it appears like we'll be stuck here for another two weeks, minimum.
Mark comes back (thank GOD!) and says we're changing our tickets and going home tonight or tomorrow, and Stella can finish up the medical process for us and we'll come back in a month or so and do the embassy stuff. Stella says "ok." (What else can she say at this point? She could tell Mark was on the verge).
So there's our plan.
But first we have to sit and wait to pay the fee and get our appointment time for next week.
So we sit for an hour, and finally get to pay our fee. The gal at the "fee desk" tells us to go back and wait, and we'll be called again to receive our appointment time.
So we sit for another hour.
All the while, thinking "Really, God? How can this be? Why did you give us Maggie's passport in 2 days - RECORD time? Wasn't there a reason for that? This doesn't make sense!"
And all the while with Mark rattling on endlessly to Stella about everything that's wrong with Uganda. Seriously said some things he shouldn't have. But she found him funny, and she was fine with his tirade, thankfully.
The waiting room empties, and it's just us and a couple other people left.
A nurse, who has walked back and forth past us numerous times in the past 2 hours, approaches me and kindly says "Did you have an appointment?"
I tell her no, we've paid our fee, but are waiting for our appointment time, and isn't there any way we could please possibly be squeezed in today?
She says, well, let me see what I can do - and immediately grabs a doctor walking by. Explains to that doctor that we've paid our fee, and could we have our exam? The doctor (witch) says "No. We are finished here today. You come back next Monday." And leaves. (It's 10:15 a.m.)
The nurse then goes over to the appointment desk and talks to Mr. Procedure, but he won't budge - yammers on about the TB test and the scheduling just doesn't work, etc.
The nurse then finds another doctor, explains the situation to her - - an angel in disguise - finally, someone who had a heart.
They devise a plan in which we have Maggie's TB test administered right now, and then read at her exam appointment on Wednesday.
Wait a minute - what? Wednesday?
Yes, we'll make an exception for you - you bring her in at 7:30 and we'll check her out quick.
If I wasn't concerned about the cultural aspects of public displays of affection, I would have hit the floor and kissed their feet.
Mark grabbed the nurse and hugged her.
She was thrilled she was able to help us, and proceeded to apologize for the inconvenience this morning.
COULD. NOT. BELIEVE. IT.
And oh, you should have seen Stella's face - remember, she's done this with several families. She looked like she'd seen a ghost.
As we walked Maggie back to the lab, once again I felt like I was living someone else's life - a few minutes ago, we were talking about coming home, and yet here we were - the waters had been parted again.
The nurse gave us her name - Michelle - and told us to ask for her when we get there on Wednesday.
We just may use her name for Maggie's middle name. :)
As we walk out into the parking lot, Stella, still looking shocked, looks at us and says "that was A MIRACLE! They made a special exception for YOU!" I think she was stunned for several minutes. As were we - so strange, being completely overwhelmed at what in the world to do next, and then having God step in and solve it. Love having the front row seat to His hand at work, but oh my, the highs and lows - and the vast space between them - are exhausting.
And so we are watching this little spot on Maggie's arm, praying it doesn't react and get bigger (no, I have no idea what happens if it's positive). After we're done at the IOM place on Wednesday, we'll head straight over to the embassy to have them look over our paperwork, and hopefully schedule our visa interview.
Our victory this morning was followed by a tough afternoon with Maggie - thinking she got overtired (she was up at 5:00), didn't like to get poked with a needle, and really didn't like it that Jack and Noah went swimming (she saw them in their suits) and she didn't get to (can't get her arm wet). The combination of all those really set her off (even AFTER her nap) and by the end of the day, Mark and I were taking shifts off and on to clear (and cool) our heads. This evening, she was delightful again. ?? We braced ourselves at bedtime, but she only fussed for about 1 minute and that was the end of it. Thank you, Jesus!
So I need some sleep! I know I have one round of photos I haven't posted yet - haven't had the time, and the internet is not good most of the time. Will try to post them tomorrow.
Prayer requests:
- No more difficulties at the IOM clinic - that we could be in and out quickly, with no hiccups.
- That the embassy interview could be scheduled quickly and that they would NOT ask for any witnesses (we realize this isn't likely, but it doesn't hurt to pray about it).
- Peace and calm for Maggie and whatever she's experiencing in her mind. Patience for the rest of us.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Day 5
Nothing too exciting to report today (which is good) - just stayed around the resort today and continued our adjustment to
Maggie, and her adjustment to us. Things are progressing with her, which is
good and bad - she's getting more comfortable with us, which is good, but with
that, the defiance comes out too. We've been trained that kids from orphanages
will often be on their best behavior for quite a while until they "attach" to
you and then start showing what's really going on inside. We think we're
already there. The best behavior thing? Long gone. :) So thankful we were
prepared for what we are experiencing! Also thankful we have Mary and Leighton
here from TN, who are going through the exact same stuff with their 18 month
old.
Remember the bedtime battle last night? Well it continued at 3:00 a.m. :-/ She got up and decided that was IT, she was done sleeping. As Hamza would say, "oh my Lawd!" Thankfully it was shorter go-round this time, and she finally stayed put and went back to sleep.
Today brought more drama - mainly when we enforce something, such as quiet time, or taking something away that she shouldn't have. That sets her off, but I think so far, we're winning. :) She doesn't realize we can be MORE bullheaded than her. Ha. Mark had a good analogy for it today - he said it's like breaking in a colt (interesting analogy for Mark, yes?), and he's totally right. So I guess in some ways, this time spent here is useful in getting that process started, and making some headway before coming home.
And oh, do I miss home. I think everyone else is doing better than me - today it really set in for me - missing my shower, my bed, my washing machine and dryer, my home in general, the smell of the air there, just good old American life. We are really struck this trip about how HARD life is here for people. It's just total chaos and insanity and stink and masses of people and filth, all. day. every. day. Absolutely everything imaginable is different here and I've decided it's both physically and mentally exhausting - even staying in a nice place like this. As a minor example, the restaurant doesn't open for supper until 6:30 - and we wait for our food for about 45 minutes every night - making it very late for the kids, but that's the culture here. For them, eating at 6:30 is very early. So Maggie is DONE by the time we get back to our room - which is likely a contributing factor to the bedtime issue. Although tonight she didn't get out of bed once. Like I said, we're winning. :)
I don't mean to focus on Maggie's difficulties - just giving you a real picture. She is totally delightful 80% of the time - smiley, lively, curious, funny. She's repeating more and more of what we say, which is good - although today she chattered on and on and on in her language and we were dying to know what she was saying, so that's hard. She's incredibly self-sufficient - she'll see me do something once, and she's got it down herself immediately. It's amazing, but I can see her survival skills there. She's orderly and cleans things up - Lane, Mark says she gets that from you. :) And she's brave - the resort had one of those giant blow-up slides today for kids, and she went up in the thing and down the slide with Jack twice, and then was on her own. No fear whatsoever. She also started going under water today all on her own (more than just the face in), with no suggestion from us. ?!? It's amazing. This bravery will serve her well in some areas, and I'm sure cause us grief in others!
So anyway, we're here, we're fine, Jack and Noah are great, Mark is good (enjoying the workout facilities!), and mama just wants to come home. PLEASE pray that we can get the IOM appt. DONE on Monday. That would be a big step in us getting home quickly.
Remember the bedtime battle last night? Well it continued at 3:00 a.m. :-/ She got up and decided that was IT, she was done sleeping. As Hamza would say, "oh my Lawd!" Thankfully it was shorter go-round this time, and she finally stayed put and went back to sleep.
Today brought more drama - mainly when we enforce something, such as quiet time, or taking something away that she shouldn't have. That sets her off, but I think so far, we're winning. :) She doesn't realize we can be MORE bullheaded than her. Ha. Mark had a good analogy for it today - he said it's like breaking in a colt (interesting analogy for Mark, yes?), and he's totally right. So I guess in some ways, this time spent here is useful in getting that process started, and making some headway before coming home.
And oh, do I miss home. I think everyone else is doing better than me - today it really set in for me - missing my shower, my bed, my washing machine and dryer, my home in general, the smell of the air there, just good old American life. We are really struck this trip about how HARD life is here for people. It's just total chaos and insanity and stink and masses of people and filth, all. day. every. day. Absolutely everything imaginable is different here and I've decided it's both physically and mentally exhausting - even staying in a nice place like this. As a minor example, the restaurant doesn't open for supper until 6:30 - and we wait for our food for about 45 minutes every night - making it very late for the kids, but that's the culture here. For them, eating at 6:30 is very early. So Maggie is DONE by the time we get back to our room - which is likely a contributing factor to the bedtime issue. Although tonight she didn't get out of bed once. Like I said, we're winning. :)
I don't mean to focus on Maggie's difficulties - just giving you a real picture. She is totally delightful 80% of the time - smiley, lively, curious, funny. She's repeating more and more of what we say, which is good - although today she chattered on and on and on in her language and we were dying to know what she was saying, so that's hard. She's incredibly self-sufficient - she'll see me do something once, and she's got it down herself immediately. It's amazing, but I can see her survival skills there. She's orderly and cleans things up - Lane, Mark says she gets that from you. :) And she's brave - the resort had one of those giant blow-up slides today for kids, and she went up in the thing and down the slide with Jack twice, and then was on her own. No fear whatsoever. She also started going under water today all on her own (more than just the face in), with no suggestion from us. ?!? It's amazing. This bravery will serve her well in some areas, and I'm sure cause us grief in others!
So anyway, we're here, we're fine, Jack and Noah are great, Mark is good (enjoying the workout facilities!), and mama just wants to come home. PLEASE pray that we can get the IOM appt. DONE on Monday. That would be a big step in us getting home quickly.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Day 4
Oh yes, yes we did! With no errors, which we've heard is a miracle in and of itself!
After being told it would be a week or more (we applied on Tues, and Wed was a national holiday so they weren't even working that day), I was praying it would be Friday or Monday, but knew realistically that it wasn't likely. We were shocked when the phone rang this afternoon at 2:15 and our attorney said "I've sent Hamza to get you, you need to get down there NOW!" Well by the time Hamza got here (remember we aren't in town) and we got through traffic, we didn't get there until 4:00 . . . which turned out to be no big deal because we stood around with a whole big group of waiting Ugandans for an hour and a half. We've decided these poor people must have insane stress levels - everything about everyday life here is so difficult, so chaotic, so unorganized.
I'll post pictures on our shutterfly site, but we all just stood outside waiting to go into this tiny little office to sign for and receive the passports - and the only way you knew it was your turn to go in was because someone would *speak* (not yell) the name out the window. People were plastered to the wall, trying to hear. We were so thankful for "our guy" Hashim - he was totally on the situation - had us stand off to the side - was on his phone, monitoring the exact location of our passports (we were waiting with the family from TN), giving us updates - when the thing was signed, when it arrived in the tiny little office, etc. So at one point he calls all of us in - we go through the crowd of Ugandans into the building, and Mary and Leighton happened to be first, so they were waved in, and we stayed in the hallway at Hashim's direction. Then some woman who worked there started YELLING at us to GET OUT because we were blocking the fresh air. ?!?! We looked at her bewildered, and she continued to yell GET OUT and pushed us out. Back to the waiting group outside. Sheesh. Nothing like calling more attention to us, which we don't really need.
So then we start hearing talk of closing the office (it was closing time) and we were still outside. My heart sinking, I thought we came THIS FAR and now we won't make it in. By the grace of our Almighty God, we were one of the last - if not THE last - people called in. But they wouldn't let Jack and Noah in the door. So we had to leave them standing with the other Ugandans who were NOT getting their passports - but after a few minutes Mary and Leighton came out and were able to stay with them. Thank heavens. So finally inside, we were asked to sign some big book with our name, cell phone and email address (??) to get the passport. And what a mess - there were papers all over the floor - no rhyme or reason to anything going on in there - people yelling - THROWING passports to each other - total insanity. I happened to see a box of passports being knocked around - ones that were never handed out today because they closed the doors. Crazy doesn't describe it. When we walked out the door with that passport in our hands, I got choked up. Jack and Noah actually had a conversation with a Ugandan couple who had been waiting there SINCE 11:00 AM this morning (this was at like 5:00!) and never got theirs.
So while it may seem like no big deal to get a dumb little passport, we can all assure you, this was a miracle by God Himself - no question about it. We are so relieved. Oh, and a sidenote - I'm also so relieved I'm not sitting in jail! I decided to discreetly take a couple of photos of the scene there - WHOOOPS. Some lady at the security checkpoint at the entrance started screaming at me, and a heavily armed police officer came over to me and yelled "NO CAMERAS! NO CAMERAS!" I think I lost a year of my life. Yikes. No more photo taking in places like that!
We were exhausted by the time we got back, but Miss Maggie was WIDE AWAKE because she'd slept in the car the whole way back. Uggh. So we did what we could to wear her out, but at 8:30 decided it was bedtime.
Ha.
NOT on her itinerary.
We knew this would happen but on night 3? We buckled down and put her back in bed at least 15 times (she'd hop out and follow us the minute we turned and walked away). She was MAD. Oh so very MAD. But this is the whole establishing authority thing we've been warned about, so at least we were well prepared. She finally gave up and went to sleep.
Part of our struggle is she can be so stinking funny when she pulls an attitude, we have to try not to laugh. :) She does this funny chicken-wing thing when she's upset and at one point Mark looks at me and says "can I do that right back at her?" Of course he wouldn't, but oh my word, funny. And then Jack and Noah want front-row seats to sit and watch because they find the whole thing enormously entertaining. Of course we didn't let them do that either. And we reminded Jack that he had similar rebellious/stubborn qualities. No idea where that came from. :)
So, that's day 4 in Uganda. Here are the next steps, as a refresher:
- Next we need the "IOM" medical done (not sure what that even stands for). We had to have her passport to do this, and this part must be done for our embassy interview. We will go there very early on Monday morning, in the hopes of getting a same-day appointment. PLEASE PRAY FOR THIS! This is big, because Tuesday is another national holiday and it won't be open.
- Once IOM is done, we can go to the embassy and request our interview. At this point they verify all our immigration paperwork is accurate and complete (and I'm not kidding, we're going to need a PhD to fill this stuff out), tell us what witnesses we may need, and then give us an interview time (which only happen on Mon and Wed afternoons).
- Once the embassy interview is completed, they issue Maggie's visa, which allows her into the U.S. THEN we can go home.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Days 2 and 3
Sorry for the lack of an update yesterday - we now have a 2 year old and find ourselves quite busy. :) Good grief, it's amazing how quickly you forget what toddlers are like!
We spent some time at the orphanage yesterday morning when we picked up Maggie - and it continues to be Jack and Noah's favorite place in the world, which is still fascinating to us. We took almost two suitcases full of clothes and toys, and there is NOTHING more fun than handing that stuff out. Wow. The orphanage director was overjoyed, and immediately started handing out clothes to all the kids and ALL the kids - even the little ones, even the boys, were elated. We had kids stripping left and right as fast as they could to get their new items on. It was absolutely adorable. And then they all wanted to model their new looks for us. I put pictures up on our photo site - https://5happycampers.shutterfly.com/. They capped off our visit with a little concert - I tried to load a video of it but the internet connection here just isn't good enough - will try again tomorrow.
Then we got some pictures of Maggie with her special "mamas" and the staff and kids prayed over Maggie before we left - such a precious moment. The time we spend there is always so draining - so, so hard to see what we've seen, and yet we've been so touched by these precious little lives. Our hearts are marked by those kids forever.
Since leaving the orphanage, we have been getting reacquainted with Maggie and learning how to be 5 instead of 4. She was very nervous and scared at first, but seems to be coming out of her shell quite well today. Even had a little temper tantrum when Mark wouldn't allow her to swing from the mosquito nets in our room. :) Go figure. All in all, she is doing really well - very curious, has an awesome laugh, and repeats many of the things we say. She is totally attached to her big brothers, and them to her.
And so our days will continue to look like this - staying close to our resort and by the phone - until we get the call that her passport is ready, which we are PRAYING will either be tomorrow or Monday. That would make a huge difference in shortening the timeline of our trip. So we'll leave you with that prayer request - and for bonding between us and Maggie, and continued protection of health for all of us. Thank you!
We spent some time at the orphanage yesterday morning when we picked up Maggie - and it continues to be Jack and Noah's favorite place in the world, which is still fascinating to us. We took almost two suitcases full of clothes and toys, and there is NOTHING more fun than handing that stuff out. Wow. The orphanage director was overjoyed, and immediately started handing out clothes to all the kids and ALL the kids - even the little ones, even the boys, were elated. We had kids stripping left and right as fast as they could to get their new items on. It was absolutely adorable. And then they all wanted to model their new looks for us. I put pictures up on our photo site - https://5happycampers.shutterfly.com/. They capped off our visit with a little concert - I tried to load a video of it but the internet connection here just isn't good enough - will try again tomorrow.
Then we got some pictures of Maggie with her special "mamas" and the staff and kids prayed over Maggie before we left - such a precious moment. The time we spend there is always so draining - so, so hard to see what we've seen, and yet we've been so touched by these precious little lives. Our hearts are marked by those kids forever.
Since leaving the orphanage, we have been getting reacquainted with Maggie and learning how to be 5 instead of 4. She was very nervous and scared at first, but seems to be coming out of her shell quite well today. Even had a little temper tantrum when Mark wouldn't allow her to swing from the mosquito nets in our room. :) Go figure. All in all, she is doing really well - very curious, has an awesome laugh, and repeats many of the things we say. She is totally attached to her big brothers, and them to her.
And so our days will continue to look like this - staying close to our resort and by the phone - until we get the call that her passport is ready, which we are PRAYING will either be tomorrow or Monday. That would make a huge difference in shortening the timeline of our trip. So we'll leave you with that prayer request - and for bonding between us and Maggie, and continued protection of health for all of us. Thank you!
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Uganda - Day 1
Disclaimer: We WILL be changing this blog title to FIVE Happy Campers once we get home!
Our trip was uneventful, which was good - just super long. Hamza's (our driver from our first trip) smiling face was waiting for us at the airport, which was so comforting to have someone we know here! He took us straight to our hotel - we were a little concerned for a bit because you leave the main highway and take a dirt road for 10-12 minutes to get here - and by dirt road, I mean the offroading kind. But it is BEAUTIFUL!!! It cost more than we wanted to spend, but we've already decided it's worth every dime. Mom and dad, you will appreciate the fact that there is massive security here - it's gated, and there are armed guards at the gate - they check every car that comes through (including underneath with big mirror things!), and every bag and every person is searched. So we feel very safe. There are gorgeous views of Lake Victoria everywhere we look. There's an amazing pool, which Mark and the boys are enjoying right now; our rooms are huge and modern; the staff is really friendly - they met us at the check-in desk with hot washcloths and fresh squeezed pineapple juice. :) We get breakfast and dinner included with our room, and the food is awesome - which is a huge relief to not have to worry about where/what to eat like we did last time.
Hamza had to pick us up this morning at 6:30 to get us to our attorney's office at 8:00 (actually we were still 20 min late) - the traffic is just horrendous. Maggie was there waiting for us, and she's just as precious as ever. We could tell she was very scared and nervous, but we did manage to get a small grin and she whispered each of our names, so she definitely remembered us. That was all we heard from her all morning - but that's fine, we expected it. From the attorney's office, Hamza took all 5 of us to the passport "office" - oh my. Everything is an adventure here. We drive up and there's a large group of Ugandans waiting outside this gate - our guy named Hashim met us there, and ushered us right past the whole line, up to the front. We were cleared to go in, and once through the gate, we were still outdoors, but went under a huge tent, with desks at both ends, and many, many people sitting in line waiting in each area. Hashim tells us to sit so he can go do "his thing" (his words!), and he'll be back. We sat and waited about 15 minutes. We then see him appear at the front of one line (without waiting), getting all our documents stamped. Then he motions for us, and escorts us to the front of the line in the opposite area, where a woman looks at Maggie, takes the file I'm holding, and we're done. Hashim tells us we can leave, and he will stay to make sure our file gets "moved along." That was it. Crazy!! I can't tell you how awkward we felt - the only white people in a couple hundred Ugandans that got escorted to the front of every line and were out of there in about 20 min. while everyone else there waits HOURS. It's no wonder Americans are not very well liked. Anyway, he told us he thinks we should have the passport Monday or Tuesday. We are praying for Friday or Monday. :)
We then went back to the attorney's office and got our file from them, at which point Alice (our atty) informed us the embassy will likely want to interview all our witnesses - including Maggie's father. Obviously this made us really nervous, but she acted like it's totally normal, and they can get the witnesses there when they need to be. Ugggh. We are going to pray that the embassy won't ask for witnesses, that they'll just accept the witness affidavits.
Then we took Maggie back to the orphanage so we could finish unpacking, get organized (it literally took us hours), and get some rest before taking custody. We are dealing with some serious jet lag and felt like we needed to be a little more "stable," if that makes sense. We'll likely be in bed at 7:00 again tonight! We also wanted to go to the orphanage to give them our gifts, and ask some questions about Maggie's routine - and didn't want to take her back there after we'd taken custody of her. When she leaves, we want it to be for good. And so that day is tomorrow - can't hardly believe that tomorrow we become a family of 5! I always thought I'd be panicky at this point, but I'm not - I have peace, which is such a relief. Of course that may change! :) And Jack and Noah are so ready for this - they really touch their mama's heart with the love they have for this little girl that they hardly know. They couldn't stop touching her today, holding her hand, fighting over who got to hold her, etc. Renee has talked extensively to us about how our primary focus in the coming weeks is we need to make her feel safe, and as she sat in the passport "holding tent" today with her big brothers on each side, holding her hands, I felt confident that she will indeed feel safe soon. :)
So, prayer requests for now:
1) That God would miraculously make that passport appear QUICK - Friday or Monday!
2) That the embassy would NOT ask for witnesses, and if they do, that they can be located and brought there in a timely fashion.
3) That our bonding would happen quickly, and that we can all continue to get GOOD SLEEP - even with Maggie's arrival.
Our trip was uneventful, which was good - just super long. Hamza's (our driver from our first trip) smiling face was waiting for us at the airport, which was so comforting to have someone we know here! He took us straight to our hotel - we were a little concerned for a bit because you leave the main highway and take a dirt road for 10-12 minutes to get here - and by dirt road, I mean the offroading kind. But it is BEAUTIFUL!!! It cost more than we wanted to spend, but we've already decided it's worth every dime. Mom and dad, you will appreciate the fact that there is massive security here - it's gated, and there are armed guards at the gate - they check every car that comes through (including underneath with big mirror things!), and every bag and every person is searched. So we feel very safe. There are gorgeous views of Lake Victoria everywhere we look. There's an amazing pool, which Mark and the boys are enjoying right now; our rooms are huge and modern; the staff is really friendly - they met us at the check-in desk with hot washcloths and fresh squeezed pineapple juice. :) We get breakfast and dinner included with our room, and the food is awesome - which is a huge relief to not have to worry about where/what to eat like we did last time.
Hamza had to pick us up this morning at 6:30 to get us to our attorney's office at 8:00 (actually we were still 20 min late) - the traffic is just horrendous. Maggie was there waiting for us, and she's just as precious as ever. We could tell she was very scared and nervous, but we did manage to get a small grin and she whispered each of our names, so she definitely remembered us. That was all we heard from her all morning - but that's fine, we expected it. From the attorney's office, Hamza took all 5 of us to the passport "office" - oh my. Everything is an adventure here. We drive up and there's a large group of Ugandans waiting outside this gate - our guy named Hashim met us there, and ushered us right past the whole line, up to the front. We were cleared to go in, and once through the gate, we were still outdoors, but went under a huge tent, with desks at both ends, and many, many people sitting in line waiting in each area. Hashim tells us to sit so he can go do "his thing" (his words!), and he'll be back. We sat and waited about 15 minutes. We then see him appear at the front of one line (without waiting), getting all our documents stamped. Then he motions for us, and escorts us to the front of the line in the opposite area, where a woman looks at Maggie, takes the file I'm holding, and we're done. Hashim tells us we can leave, and he will stay to make sure our file gets "moved along." That was it. Crazy!! I can't tell you how awkward we felt - the only white people in a couple hundred Ugandans that got escorted to the front of every line and were out of there in about 20 min. while everyone else there waits HOURS. It's no wonder Americans are not very well liked. Anyway, he told us he thinks we should have the passport Monday or Tuesday. We are praying for Friday or Monday. :)
We then went back to the attorney's office and got our file from them, at which point Alice (our atty) informed us the embassy will likely want to interview all our witnesses - including Maggie's father. Obviously this made us really nervous, but she acted like it's totally normal, and they can get the witnesses there when they need to be. Ugggh. We are going to pray that the embassy won't ask for witnesses, that they'll just accept the witness affidavits.
Then we took Maggie back to the orphanage so we could finish unpacking, get organized (it literally took us hours), and get some rest before taking custody. We are dealing with some serious jet lag and felt like we needed to be a little more "stable," if that makes sense. We'll likely be in bed at 7:00 again tonight! We also wanted to go to the orphanage to give them our gifts, and ask some questions about Maggie's routine - and didn't want to take her back there after we'd taken custody of her. When she leaves, we want it to be for good. And so that day is tomorrow - can't hardly believe that tomorrow we become a family of 5! I always thought I'd be panicky at this point, but I'm not - I have peace, which is such a relief. Of course that may change! :) And Jack and Noah are so ready for this - they really touch their mama's heart with the love they have for this little girl that they hardly know. They couldn't stop touching her today, holding her hand, fighting over who got to hold her, etc. Renee has talked extensively to us about how our primary focus in the coming weeks is we need to make her feel safe, and as she sat in the passport "holding tent" today with her big brothers on each side, holding her hands, I felt confident that she will indeed feel safe soon. :)
So, prayer requests for now:
1) That God would miraculously make that passport appear QUICK - Friday or Monday!
2) That the embassy would NOT ask for witnesses, and if they do, that they can be located and brought there in a timely fashion.
3) That our bonding would happen quickly, and that we can all continue to get GOOD SLEEP - even with Maggie's arrival.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Preparing to return . . .
So about the time we got our guardianship order, Mark's assistant quit, sending him into a state of panic about leaving the office for any length of time. His salary is 100% commission, so if he's not at work - and there's no assistant helping him out with his accounts - we have no income.
Then, we learn from our Ugandan attorneys that the process in getting Maggie out of the country changed somewhat, and would take longer than anticipated. We even employed the help of our senator's office to see if we could expedite the process, but there was nothing they could do.
Next? The terrorist attack in Nairobi, Kenya. Right next door to Kampala. Watching the news video of that attack gave us chills, as it took place in a mall identical to the one we frequented in Kampala - a touristy/American-ish mall with the exact same grocery store we went to nearly every day. Unnerving, to say the least.
But God continued to answer our worries and fears, faithfully through His word, as He always does. Prior to our first trip in June, for some reason I can't really explain, we focused heavily on Psalm 91. Noah memorized it in it's entirety, and my mom and I started memorizing it as well. It brought me great peace at that time. So a week ago, as we were watching the coverage of this terrorist attack and our worries and fears were peaking, I sat down to do my BSF lesson. We're doing Matthew this year. But on this particular day - the scripture for this part of the lesson? Psalm 91. I couldn't believe it. Actually, I should, though, shouldn't I? This is GOD we are talking about. He listens. He speaks. He cares. Why should we be surprised when He shows up with exactly what we need?
In the next day or two, God also gave me this, twice in one day, in completely different places: Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. John 14:1 :)
So we bought our plane tickets. We are taking a giant leap of faith, going blindly into a very uncertain and unstable process, but knowing this: Our God is sovereign. He provides. And His plans are perfect and do not fail. Ever. We are exactly where He wants us - utterly and completely dependent on HIM. Not ourselves, not the Ugandan government, not the U.S. government. Knowing that it will take 10 different miracles to get Maggie out of Uganda, but knowing HE can do it.
Trusting Him is not always easy - in fact sometimes it's downright hard - and it requires a conscious choice. Right now we feel like we are looking at scaling Mount Everest . . . but if our situations and circumstances were easy, and we could accomplish things in our own power, what reason would we have to lean on our God? We've learned God graciously allows difficulties in our lives to draw us closer to Him, to know Him more intimately. So we know these steps of faith are for our growth, bonding us closer to our Savior, and following Him makes all the insanity of this process worth it. He is worth EVERYthing.
And so we are chin-deep in logistics, packing and organizing. Trying to anticipate anything and everything that we will need - this isn't like packing for a normal trip - if you forget something, you are likely out of luck - you can't just run to the nearest Target or WalMart. Even Noah was quizzing me tonight about whether or not I had various medicines. I should just turn the whole show over to him - he'd likely do it better! :)
Then, we learn from our Ugandan attorneys that the process in getting Maggie out of the country changed somewhat, and would take longer than anticipated. We even employed the help of our senator's office to see if we could expedite the process, but there was nothing they could do.
Next? The terrorist attack in Nairobi, Kenya. Right next door to Kampala. Watching the news video of that attack gave us chills, as it took place in a mall identical to the one we frequented in Kampala - a touristy/American-ish mall with the exact same grocery store we went to nearly every day. Unnerving, to say the least.
But God continued to answer our worries and fears, faithfully through His word, as He always does. Prior to our first trip in June, for some reason I can't really explain, we focused heavily on Psalm 91. Noah memorized it in it's entirety, and my mom and I started memorizing it as well. It brought me great peace at that time. So a week ago, as we were watching the coverage of this terrorist attack and our worries and fears were peaking, I sat down to do my BSF lesson. We're doing Matthew this year. But on this particular day - the scripture for this part of the lesson? Psalm 91. I couldn't believe it. Actually, I should, though, shouldn't I? This is GOD we are talking about. He listens. He speaks. He cares. Why should we be surprised when He shows up with exactly what we need?
In the next day or two, God also gave me this, twice in one day, in completely different places: Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. John 14:1 :)
So we bought our plane tickets. We are taking a giant leap of faith, going blindly into a very uncertain and unstable process, but knowing this: Our God is sovereign. He provides. And His plans are perfect and do not fail. Ever. We are exactly where He wants us - utterly and completely dependent on HIM. Not ourselves, not the Ugandan government, not the U.S. government. Knowing that it will take 10 different miracles to get Maggie out of Uganda, but knowing HE can do it.
Trusting Him is not always easy - in fact sometimes it's downright hard - and it requires a conscious choice. Right now we feel like we are looking at scaling Mount Everest . . . but if our situations and circumstances were easy, and we could accomplish things in our own power, what reason would we have to lean on our God? We've learned God graciously allows difficulties in our lives to draw us closer to Him, to know Him more intimately. So we know these steps of faith are for our growth, bonding us closer to our Savior, and following Him makes all the insanity of this process worth it. He is worth EVERYthing.
And so we are chin-deep in logistics, packing and organizing. Trying to anticipate anything and everything that we will need - this isn't like packing for a normal trip - if you forget something, you are likely out of luck - you can't just run to the nearest Target or WalMart. Even Noah was quizzing me tonight about whether or not I had various medicines. I should just turn the whole show over to him - he'd likely do it better! :)
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Coming Home . . .
Coming home brought nearly as much culture shock as going over there. A highlight? Food! Being able to eat whatever, without worrying about whether or not we'd be sick a few hours later. Upon arriving in D.C., we immediately hit Starbucks - oh my word, BEST LATTE EVER. Then the kids bounced between Dunkin Donuts, Wendy's and Annie's Pretzels (we were confined to our concourse). We flew into Denver and stayed over night there before driving home - and our senses were just assaulted by the good roads, the order, the cleanliness and the beauty of this country - and the fresh air! Oh, the fresh air. I don't think you can truly appreciate it until you've lived without it for a while.
All the while, our hearts and minds were hurt and confused. We didn't know where to park our thoughts, except on God. Once we arrived home (to a house lovingly stocked with yummy food and clean happy doggies!), I was unpacking in our bathroom and I flipped my little daily bible verse calendar that I keep by the sink to June 24, our court date. I HAD to know what God had to say to me on that day. He didn't fail me - it said: "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” John 13:7. I was floored.
Over the next few weeks, we waited for DNA test results and came to grips with the fact that should the adoption proceed, we would have to return TWO more times - once to testify, as we had not done that yet, and then lastly to pick up Maggie. The test results came back positive - this man (named Hajji) was in fact Maggie's father. And by the time the results came in, Ramadan was in effect. Because Hajji is a strict Muslim, he decided he could not "sign his daughter over to pagans" during his holy time. (The pagans would be us).
So we waited. 3 more weeks. Constantly wondering what this man would decide, after hearing reports that the village women were trying to convince him to raise Maggie himself and not allow her to be adopted by Americans. And wondering what effect his holy period would have on him, his conscience, and his heart.
But, true to his word, he showed up at our attorney's office the Monday after Ramadan was over, and signed the consent to the adoption. One major hurdle removed!
And yet another one remained. He would need to appear in court, and be questioned by a judge about whether or not he understood what he was signing. The hitch was that we were to appear WITH him. At the same hearing. Which opened us up to great risk - what if he didn't show up? What if he changed his mind? What if the judge and his interrogation tactics (severe!) caused Hajji to gain a conscience and back out - - which, legally, he was entitled to do!
So we came up with the idea of asking the judge if we could have 2 separate hearings - one for him, to wrap up his consent, and some time after that, one for us. Let him get his consent on the record and then we would come back for our portion of the hearing. We were warned, over and over, that the judge would say no - that's just not how things are done here. But we got them to agree to at least ask.
So our law firm scheduled a meeting with the judge to present our request. The email message we got that day knocked us off our feet. The judge denied the request for two separate hearings. Instead, he said he didn't need to see us again AT ALL and he would just rule on our case after Hajji's testimony. No hearing for us - no testimony needed from us.
Say what?!?
Did he really say that? Oh yes, YES HE DID!
God came through in a way we didn't ask for or imagine. Seriously one of the most amazing, breathtaking days of my life. I knew, that day, that Maggie was ours. Not only that, God had revealed Himself to us in a way that there was NO DENYING this was HIS hand at work. "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine . . ." Eph. 3:20!
Hajji appeared in court when he needed to, and the hearing went according to plan. Now all that was left was to wait for the judge's ruling.
Which came on September 5th - my birthday! Does God love us or what?!? What a day. What a God.
The last step before being approved to travel again was to get the written guardianship order in our hands - which we were told would be at least 3 weeks. Ha, not on God's timetable. We received it in one week. And then the roadblocks started popping up . . . .
All the while, our hearts and minds were hurt and confused. We didn't know where to park our thoughts, except on God. Once we arrived home (to a house lovingly stocked with yummy food and clean happy doggies!), I was unpacking in our bathroom and I flipped my little daily bible verse calendar that I keep by the sink to June 24, our court date. I HAD to know what God had to say to me on that day. He didn't fail me - it said: "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” John 13:7. I was floored.
Over the next few weeks, we waited for DNA test results and came to grips with the fact that should the adoption proceed, we would have to return TWO more times - once to testify, as we had not done that yet, and then lastly to pick up Maggie. The test results came back positive - this man (named Hajji) was in fact Maggie's father. And by the time the results came in, Ramadan was in effect. Because Hajji is a strict Muslim, he decided he could not "sign his daughter over to pagans" during his holy time. (The pagans would be us).
So we waited. 3 more weeks. Constantly wondering what this man would decide, after hearing reports that the village women were trying to convince him to raise Maggie himself and not allow her to be adopted by Americans. And wondering what effect his holy period would have on him, his conscience, and his heart.
But, true to his word, he showed up at our attorney's office the Monday after Ramadan was over, and signed the consent to the adoption. One major hurdle removed!
And yet another one remained. He would need to appear in court, and be questioned by a judge about whether or not he understood what he was signing. The hitch was that we were to appear WITH him. At the same hearing. Which opened us up to great risk - what if he didn't show up? What if he changed his mind? What if the judge and his interrogation tactics (severe!) caused Hajji to gain a conscience and back out - - which, legally, he was entitled to do!
So we came up with the idea of asking the judge if we could have 2 separate hearings - one for him, to wrap up his consent, and some time after that, one for us. Let him get his consent on the record and then we would come back for our portion of the hearing. We were warned, over and over, that the judge would say no - that's just not how things are done here. But we got them to agree to at least ask.
So our law firm scheduled a meeting with the judge to present our request. The email message we got that day knocked us off our feet. The judge denied the request for two separate hearings. Instead, he said he didn't need to see us again AT ALL and he would just rule on our case after Hajji's testimony. No hearing for us - no testimony needed from us.
Say what?!?
Did he really say that? Oh yes, YES HE DID!
God came through in a way we didn't ask for or imagine. Seriously one of the most amazing, breathtaking days of my life. I knew, that day, that Maggie was ours. Not only that, God had revealed Himself to us in a way that there was NO DENYING this was HIS hand at work. "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine . . ." Eph. 3:20!
Hajji appeared in court when he needed to, and the hearing went according to plan. Now all that was left was to wait for the judge's ruling.
Which came on September 5th - my birthday! Does God love us or what?!? What a day. What a God.
The last step before being approved to travel again was to get the written guardianship order in our hands - which we were told would be at least 3 weeks. Ha, not on God's timetable. We received it in one week. And then the roadblocks started popping up . . . .
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Email Updates Continued (Days 6 through departure) . . .
Day 6
Today was hard. Mark and I are feeling like we've been chewed up and spit out. We picked up Maggie today at 9:00 a.m. and had her until 4:00, and she never slept a wink. The past couple days we'd been laying down with her in front of the Lorax (the movie) and she'd zonk out within 5 minutes. Well, she figured out that routine and wasn't going to be conned into THAT anymore. She was so tired, but threw a fit any time we tried to lay down with her. And she got really aggressive today - lots of hitting, especially Mark, when he'd try to get her to settle down. We've been trained that this can happen, so it's not entirely shocking, but still scary and difficult to figure out how to handle. I have to believe that she's been trained it's ok to do that for over a year now, she's likely confused, and frustrated that she can't communicate with us, and just stressed over all. So this "new" behavior of hers has made us nervous for court tomorrow - I can't imagine what that will be like.
On top of that, when we arrived at the orphanage this morning, the director ("mama") asked us why we haven't been feeding her. ?!? We looked at her, shocked, and she said Maggie told her that we weren't feeding her anything. We listed the things we had fed her, and she instructed us to get her rice and "irish" potatoes. Thank heavens we have a restaurant here! So, Mark went and talked to the waitresses and they knew exactly what we needed, so Maggie ate like a queen. They even gave her chicken legs, which she ate clean. We also took pictures, in case we needed them as proof! When we returned her this afternoon, her "usual" nanny was there, who speaks decent English, and she explained that she believed we had been feeding her, but in Maggie's book, she hasn't had "food" until she's had potatoes and rice. Oy vey. So, who knows what in the world she went back telling them tonight, with the "episodes" we had here!
So then I start hearing the hiss of satan - "what in the world are we going through all of this for? this is crazy! for only one child? look at all these kids - one isn't going to make any difference!" But then Jesus whispers "yes this is hard, but look what I did for you - and I would have done it for only you."
So my mind is tired of being a battlefield and my body is weary from battling this environment - and even Maggie.
But the upside is that all of the sudden, the coin flips and she's as sweet as can be. ?? She talked more than she ever has today - mostly in her language, but was eager to repeat words we gave her, sang some songs for us, gave hugs, fixed my hair again, laughed and giggled and laughed. If we didn't have those moments where she can just melt a heart, I don't know what we'd do.
After we dropped her off, Hamza took us to the mall, where we found a "Café Java" - we'd seen it before, but hadn't tried it out - and that was just the treat we needed. By the time we got there, Jack was dead to the world tired, Noah had a stomach ache and Mark and I were just done. But this place was the nicest place we've been in here - very modern/American looking, and had wonderful food. Jack got his pasta alfredo he'd been missing, Noah got a beef burrito, I had a chicken quesadilla and Mark got a burger and fries. Jack and Noah were like NEW PEOPLE once they started eating - they were so happy. :) They're already asking to go back. It was kind of expensive but really worth it - we all desperately needed a little "normal."
These two precious hearts are also heavily campaigning for a 9-yr old girl at the orphanage - she is VERY sweet - speaks English (is in school, and they teach English there) and is outgoing and really likes Jack and Noah. :) So they are ON A MISSION to adopt her too. No joke. We seriously hear about it every hour. I wish life could be as simple as it is from a child's perspective! Can you imagine how different things would be?
We've started counting down the days until we come home - something I feel somewhat guilty about - I simply can NOT wait to get back to the U.S., but struggle with feeling that way when Maggie will still be here. See, there's that battlefield of the mind again!!
Pray for our court date tomorrow - that we wouldn't have to wait long, that the kids would be GOOD and will manage the heat ok (we're told there's no a/c and it's super hot in the waiting room), and that we would have clear, concise answers for the judge. Thank you so much - don't know how we'd get through this without all of you!
Anne:)
Court
We just experienced the worst day of our lives - we are reeling, but will try to explain. Our hearing was scheduled for 1:00, so we arrived at 12:30 - we were finally called at 5:45. For over 5 hours we sat waiting in a filthy room, with cockroaches (one even on my shoulder). We burned through our water in the first 3 hours, so from about 4:00 until 8:30 we had no water and were sweating like crazy. Maggie thought she needed to go potty every hour, and the bathroom facilities were so horrible, you guys wouldn't have set foot in them. I've never seen anything like it. Once we entered the hearing room, things got worse. It was at least 110 degrees in there, and the entire 2+ hour hearing was done in Lugandan so we couldn't understand anything, and no one was translating for us. It was awful. We could tell right off the bat, with our first witness, that things were not going well - by reading faces, the judge's voice, etc. It was clear he didn't believe her (the woman Maggie was evidently left with) - he grilled her for an hour. The social worker did send me a note that said "he's suspicious. He doesn't believe we've tried to find her mother. He thinks we're hiding information." Then he called the social worker - who said about 10 words, was scolded, and sat back down. Then came the guy who's the father of Maggie's half brother - by the time he was done, he was crying. Again, we have no idea at this point what's going on.
At the end of 2+ hours, everyone starts packing up their stuff - neither Mark or I have testified, so we knew something was very wrong - and the judge finally decides to speak English and explain to us what had happened. The man who is the father of Maggie's half brother is now claiming to be Maggie's father. That's what he was crying about. I absolutely fell apart. We managed to get out of the room, at which point all 4 of us fell apart. It was such a mess.
We don't know what happens next, if anything. We can't hardly think. The judge has scheduled another hearing for next week, which we will not be here for. We have a meeting tomorrow at 10:30 at our attorney's office.
You can imagine how Mark and I are feeling, but Jack and Noah are DEVASTATED. I can't even explain it to you. They have cried and cried - my heart is absolutely shattered. We contacted our travel agent to see if we could switch our flights to tomorrow, but she said everything is booked between now and Thursday. So we are stuck.
That's all I know for now. We all desperately need sleep. We'll update you more after our meeting tomorrow. Love, Anne
Attorney Meeting
Today was hard. Mark and I are feeling like we've been chewed up and spit out. We picked up Maggie today at 9:00 a.m. and had her until 4:00, and she never slept a wink. The past couple days we'd been laying down with her in front of the Lorax (the movie) and she'd zonk out within 5 minutes. Well, she figured out that routine and wasn't going to be conned into THAT anymore. She was so tired, but threw a fit any time we tried to lay down with her. And she got really aggressive today - lots of hitting, especially Mark, when he'd try to get her to settle down. We've been trained that this can happen, so it's not entirely shocking, but still scary and difficult to figure out how to handle. I have to believe that she's been trained it's ok to do that for over a year now, she's likely confused, and frustrated that she can't communicate with us, and just stressed over all. So this "new" behavior of hers has made us nervous for court tomorrow - I can't imagine what that will be like.
On top of that, when we arrived at the orphanage this morning, the director ("mama") asked us why we haven't been feeding her. ?!? We looked at her, shocked, and she said Maggie told her that we weren't feeding her anything. We listed the things we had fed her, and she instructed us to get her rice and "irish" potatoes. Thank heavens we have a restaurant here! So, Mark went and talked to the waitresses and they knew exactly what we needed, so Maggie ate like a queen. They even gave her chicken legs, which she ate clean. We also took pictures, in case we needed them as proof! When we returned her this afternoon, her "usual" nanny was there, who speaks decent English, and she explained that she believed we had been feeding her, but in Maggie's book, she hasn't had "food" until she's had potatoes and rice. Oy vey. So, who knows what in the world she went back telling them tonight, with the "episodes" we had here!
So then I start hearing the hiss of satan - "what in the world are we going through all of this for? this is crazy! for only one child? look at all these kids - one isn't going to make any difference!" But then Jesus whispers "yes this is hard, but look what I did for you - and I would have done it for only you."
So my mind is tired of being a battlefield and my body is weary from battling this environment - and even Maggie.
But the upside is that all of the sudden, the coin flips and she's as sweet as can be. ?? She talked more than she ever has today - mostly in her language, but was eager to repeat words we gave her, sang some songs for us, gave hugs, fixed my hair again, laughed and giggled and laughed. If we didn't have those moments where she can just melt a heart, I don't know what we'd do.
After we dropped her off, Hamza took us to the mall, where we found a "Café Java" - we'd seen it before, but hadn't tried it out - and that was just the treat we needed. By the time we got there, Jack was dead to the world tired, Noah had a stomach ache and Mark and I were just done. But this place was the nicest place we've been in here - very modern/American looking, and had wonderful food. Jack got his pasta alfredo he'd been missing, Noah got a beef burrito, I had a chicken quesadilla and Mark got a burger and fries. Jack and Noah were like NEW PEOPLE once they started eating - they were so happy. :) They're already asking to go back. It was kind of expensive but really worth it - we all desperately needed a little "normal."
These two precious hearts are also heavily campaigning for a 9-yr old girl at the orphanage - she is VERY sweet - speaks English (is in school, and they teach English there) and is outgoing and really likes Jack and Noah. :) So they are ON A MISSION to adopt her too. No joke. We seriously hear about it every hour. I wish life could be as simple as it is from a child's perspective! Can you imagine how different things would be?
We've started counting down the days until we come home - something I feel somewhat guilty about - I simply can NOT wait to get back to the U.S., but struggle with feeling that way when Maggie will still be here. See, there's that battlefield of the mind again!!
Pray for our court date tomorrow - that we wouldn't have to wait long, that the kids would be GOOD and will manage the heat ok (we're told there's no a/c and it's super hot in the waiting room), and that we would have clear, concise answers for the judge. Thank you so much - don't know how we'd get through this without all of you!
Anne:)
Court
We just experienced the worst day of our lives - we are reeling, but will try to explain. Our hearing was scheduled for 1:00, so we arrived at 12:30 - we were finally called at 5:45. For over 5 hours we sat waiting in a filthy room, with cockroaches (one even on my shoulder). We burned through our water in the first 3 hours, so from about 4:00 until 8:30 we had no water and were sweating like crazy. Maggie thought she needed to go potty every hour, and the bathroom facilities were so horrible, you guys wouldn't have set foot in them. I've never seen anything like it. Once we entered the hearing room, things got worse. It was at least 110 degrees in there, and the entire 2+ hour hearing was done in Lugandan so we couldn't understand anything, and no one was translating for us. It was awful. We could tell right off the bat, with our first witness, that things were not going well - by reading faces, the judge's voice, etc. It was clear he didn't believe her (the woman Maggie was evidently left with) - he grilled her for an hour. The social worker did send me a note that said "he's suspicious. He doesn't believe we've tried to find her mother. He thinks we're hiding information." Then he called the social worker - who said about 10 words, was scolded, and sat back down. Then came the guy who's the father of Maggie's half brother - by the time he was done, he was crying. Again, we have no idea at this point what's going on.
At the end of 2+ hours, everyone starts packing up their stuff - neither Mark or I have testified, so we knew something was very wrong - and the judge finally decides to speak English and explain to us what had happened. The man who is the father of Maggie's half brother is now claiming to be Maggie's father. That's what he was crying about. I absolutely fell apart. We managed to get out of the room, at which point all 4 of us fell apart. It was such a mess.
We don't know what happens next, if anything. We can't hardly think. The judge has scheduled another hearing for next week, which we will not be here for. We have a meeting tomorrow at 10:30 at our attorney's office.
You can imagine how Mark and I are feeling, but Jack and Noah are DEVASTATED. I can't even explain it to you. They have cried and cried - my heart is absolutely shattered. We contacted our travel agent to see if we could switch our flights to tomorrow, but she said everything is booked between now and Thursday. So we are stuck.
That's all I know for now. We all desperately need sleep. We'll update you more after our meeting tomorrow. Love, Anne
Attorney Meeting
We met with our attorneys this
morning and it went much as we expected. We are as lost and confused as
ever. Our attorneys, Mark and Alice, said Maggie's father is supposed to come
in tomorrow to sign a "consent,"
which evidently terminates parental rights - someone from their office went to
his work today to explain it to
him, then give him time to think (ha! 24 hours??). Evidently he knew all along
he was her father, but didn't come forward when questioned in the investigation
because he thought he would be arrested. Last night, in court, when he was
sworn in before "allah" (he's Muslim), he decided he couldn't lie anymore. We
had noticed throughout the day, he was taking a special interest in Maggie, but
we didn't think much of it because people are just friendly here. Now we can
see what was happening. He has several wives and "over 10" children.
So Mark and Alice want us to stay another week, for the hearing on Monday, when they can present this "consent" to the judge. They also informed us the judge won't rule on our case unless we testify in person. When we asked about the rest of the hearing that we couldn't understand, they said that the judge didn't believe the woman whom Maggie was left with - kept calling her a liar, was trying to rattle her on purpose "to get to the truth." Now they seem to think he's over his suspicions. We of course have no idea because we couldn't understand anything. They also told us this judge currently is particularly ornery and very particular about adoption cases because of some bad ones he's had recently.
Some other background: we've heard of instances where families get stuck here for 2-4 months trying to get their cases through because of all kinds of crap like this. Interestingly enough, the employees here at the resort are very angry (they love Maggie) and are telling us Uganda is corrupt. ?!?!? Great. This is coming from Ugandans!!
So. The decision we are faced with is whether to leave on Thursday as planned, and let this mess get investigated and settled (?) - or stay and attend another hearing from you-know-where on Monday, not knowing what in the world could happen. Some concerns? We don't trust this father (oh, and no, they aren't doing a DNA test, they say it isn't necessary) - we are concerned he could sign the stupid document and then 1) change his mind; or 2) not show up for court on Monday {they told us this morning that he was actually a "flight risk" for yesterday's hearing - they were worried he wouldn't show up!}; we are concerned what ADDITIONAL information this loose-cannon judge is going to request (and reschedule yet again), given his anger at everyone involved yesterday - and he didn't even want to hear from us; we are so unbelievably emotionally exhausted we can't think straight; getting through each day here is a challenge; and then of course there are our bank accounts, which are running dry. We simply cannot afford to keep this up indefinitely - we do not have unlimited resources. One suggestion our attorneys had? Let everyone else go home and I (Anne) stay by myself.
My biggest struggle right now is we believe we were asked by God to do this - so we have dutifully pushed and pulled and struggled through many hurdles to do this, and we are just done. We don't have anything left in us to fight. Do we leave on Thursday, put this completely in God's hands and let Him work whatever miracles He needs to? Or do we stay and struggle more? If we knew we could get everything done on Monday, we would stay. We honestly don't know the options or future possibilities if we leave.
I know you don't have the answers - we're just trying to explain our mindset to you (and yes, Mark is editing this as well) so you can see where we are at. Very, very, lost. Of course we welcome your thoughts/ideas/opinions, but please don't be offended if we don't/can't use them.
As always, we love you all - Anne
Last Day
Today was yet another roller coaster - we seriously can't believe what each day will bring. First, we want to apologize profusely for taking you along on this ridiculous drama-filled roller coaster - we feel bad for the emotional turmoil we've caused you all. But we did feel like we needed to wrap this up for you.
Today began with me waking up feeling really uneasy about leaving, but not trusting my thought process. I sent you emails, Josh, Betsy and Dad, indicating we were leaving - partly for my own benefit to work through the reasoning, thinking maybe leaving would finally sit right with me. It didn't. So I reminded God that His word says to submit to my husband, and asked God that if He wanted us to stay, He would convict Mark's heart of that, so I could be removed from the decision. Throughout the morning, we didn't even discuss the issue - then late morning, Mark broke down in tears and told me he didn't think he could get on a plane tomorrow and not see this through. I was shocked - God had answered. We agreed we would stay.
Ok - so seriously, then about 15 minutes after arriving at this decision, we received a text message from the attorney's office telling us to keep our travel plans and go home tomorrow. We knew they were meeting with the "father" this morning to have him sign the consent form - so we realized something had gone terribly wrong. Again. They said they had received "new information" (again!!!) and asked if we could come in for a meeting at 4:00.
So we met with them at 4:00. The father verbally consented, but in doing some "field work" and interviews yesterday, one of their social workers discovered there were lies in his story. (Big surprise). Somehow, they managed to track down the mother's landlord from 2 years ago, and got some information from her that was inconsistent with the father's story. So, they decided they cannot go before a judge on Monday with this guy who keeps lying, and now they are also obligated to follow the leads on Maggie's mother.
What happens next? We wait. They are doing a DNA test on this guy to make sure he IS the father - if he's not, it would be a great thing for our case. If he is, they have to continue to work with him until they get the full truth. They will also follow the leads they now have on her mother. They told us they are not required to locate her, but are required to provide the court proof that they put sufficient effort into looking for her. At some point down the road, if they get all of this straightened out, our case can go before a judge again - but it puts us back at square one in the process. Meaning two more trips, instead of just one. Meanwhile, Maggie sits in the orphanage. I cannot tell you how this breaks our hearts.
Where are we at? Confused. Deflated. Angry. Embarrassed. Heartsick. Noah sat in on the meeting with us - and it put new life into him once he heard there was a sliver of hope. Jack didn't want to be in the meeting - I don't blame him, this has all been very hard on him. Mark and I don't know if we should be hopeful, or if we should just resign ourselves to the fact this really may not happen - we have no idea what to think. I'm in a state of shock and nausea just thinking about how this entire trip was for nothing (adoption-related, anyway). Nothing makes sense to us right now.
One thing we keep telling the kids is that God is GOOD, and has a plan for each of us, including Maggie. They believe it, and so do we. However, it doesn't take away the pain of all this.
So our suitcases are packed, and we leave for the airport at noon tomorrow. We'll be in touch once we arrive in the states.
Much love and many thanks to all of you - Anne
So Mark and Alice want us to stay another week, for the hearing on Monday, when they can present this "consent" to the judge. They also informed us the judge won't rule on our case unless we testify in person. When we asked about the rest of the hearing that we couldn't understand, they said that the judge didn't believe the woman whom Maggie was left with - kept calling her a liar, was trying to rattle her on purpose "to get to the truth." Now they seem to think he's over his suspicions. We of course have no idea because we couldn't understand anything. They also told us this judge currently is particularly ornery and very particular about adoption cases because of some bad ones he's had recently.
Some other background: we've heard of instances where families get stuck here for 2-4 months trying to get their cases through because of all kinds of crap like this. Interestingly enough, the employees here at the resort are very angry (they love Maggie) and are telling us Uganda is corrupt. ?!?!? Great. This is coming from Ugandans!!
So. The decision we are faced with is whether to leave on Thursday as planned, and let this mess get investigated and settled (?) - or stay and attend another hearing from you-know-where on Monday, not knowing what in the world could happen. Some concerns? We don't trust this father (oh, and no, they aren't doing a DNA test, they say it isn't necessary) - we are concerned he could sign the stupid document and then 1) change his mind; or 2) not show up for court on Monday {they told us this morning that he was actually a "flight risk" for yesterday's hearing - they were worried he wouldn't show up!}; we are concerned what ADDITIONAL information this loose-cannon judge is going to request (and reschedule yet again), given his anger at everyone involved yesterday - and he didn't even want to hear from us; we are so unbelievably emotionally exhausted we can't think straight; getting through each day here is a challenge; and then of course there are our bank accounts, which are running dry. We simply cannot afford to keep this up indefinitely - we do not have unlimited resources. One suggestion our attorneys had? Let everyone else go home and I (Anne) stay by myself.
My biggest struggle right now is we believe we were asked by God to do this - so we have dutifully pushed and pulled and struggled through many hurdles to do this, and we are just done. We don't have anything left in us to fight. Do we leave on Thursday, put this completely in God's hands and let Him work whatever miracles He needs to? Or do we stay and struggle more? If we knew we could get everything done on Monday, we would stay. We honestly don't know the options or future possibilities if we leave.
I know you don't have the answers - we're just trying to explain our mindset to you (and yes, Mark is editing this as well) so you can see where we are at. Very, very, lost. Of course we welcome your thoughts/ideas/opinions, but please don't be offended if we don't/can't use them.
As always, we love you all - Anne
Last Day
Today was yet another roller coaster - we seriously can't believe what each day will bring. First, we want to apologize profusely for taking you along on this ridiculous drama-filled roller coaster - we feel bad for the emotional turmoil we've caused you all. But we did feel like we needed to wrap this up for you.
Today began with me waking up feeling really uneasy about leaving, but not trusting my thought process. I sent you emails, Josh, Betsy and Dad, indicating we were leaving - partly for my own benefit to work through the reasoning, thinking maybe leaving would finally sit right with me. It didn't. So I reminded God that His word says to submit to my husband, and asked God that if He wanted us to stay, He would convict Mark's heart of that, so I could be removed from the decision. Throughout the morning, we didn't even discuss the issue - then late morning, Mark broke down in tears and told me he didn't think he could get on a plane tomorrow and not see this through. I was shocked - God had answered. We agreed we would stay.
Ok - so seriously, then about 15 minutes after arriving at this decision, we received a text message from the attorney's office telling us to keep our travel plans and go home tomorrow. We knew they were meeting with the "father" this morning to have him sign the consent form - so we realized something had gone terribly wrong. Again. They said they had received "new information" (again!!!) and asked if we could come in for a meeting at 4:00.
So we met with them at 4:00. The father verbally consented, but in doing some "field work" and interviews yesterday, one of their social workers discovered there were lies in his story. (Big surprise). Somehow, they managed to track down the mother's landlord from 2 years ago, and got some information from her that was inconsistent with the father's story. So, they decided they cannot go before a judge on Monday with this guy who keeps lying, and now they are also obligated to follow the leads on Maggie's mother.
What happens next? We wait. They are doing a DNA test on this guy to make sure he IS the father - if he's not, it would be a great thing for our case. If he is, they have to continue to work with him until they get the full truth. They will also follow the leads they now have on her mother. They told us they are not required to locate her, but are required to provide the court proof that they put sufficient effort into looking for her. At some point down the road, if they get all of this straightened out, our case can go before a judge again - but it puts us back at square one in the process. Meaning two more trips, instead of just one. Meanwhile, Maggie sits in the orphanage. I cannot tell you how this breaks our hearts.
Where are we at? Confused. Deflated. Angry. Embarrassed. Heartsick. Noah sat in on the meeting with us - and it put new life into him once he heard there was a sliver of hope. Jack didn't want to be in the meeting - I don't blame him, this has all been very hard on him. Mark and I don't know if we should be hopeful, or if we should just resign ourselves to the fact this really may not happen - we have no idea what to think. I'm in a state of shock and nausea just thinking about how this entire trip was for nothing (adoption-related, anyway). Nothing makes sense to us right now.
One thing we keep telling the kids is that God is GOOD, and has a plan for each of us, including Maggie. They believe it, and so do we. However, it doesn't take away the pain of all this.
So our suitcases are packed, and we leave for the airport at noon tomorrow. We'll be in touch once we arrive in the states.
Much love and many thanks to all of you - Anne
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