Email Updates Continued (Days 6 through departure) . . .

Day 6
Today was hard.  Mark and I are feeling like we've been chewed up and spit out.  We picked up Maggie today at 9:00 a.m. and had her until 4:00, and she never slept a wink.  The past couple days we'd been laying down with her in front of the Lorax (the movie) and she'd zonk out within 5 minutes.  Well, she figured out that routine and wasn't going to be conned into THAT anymore.  She was so tired, but threw a fit any time we tried to lay down with her.  And she got really aggressive today - lots of hitting, especially Mark, when he'd try to get her to settle down.  We've been trained that this can happen, so it's not entirely shocking, but still scary and difficult to figure out how to handle.  I have to believe that she's been trained it's ok to do that for over a year now, she's likely confused, and frustrated that she can't communicate with us, and just stressed over all.  So this "new" behavior of hers has made us nervous for court tomorrow - I can't imagine what that will be like.

On top of that, when we arrived at the orphanage this morning, the director ("mama") asked us why we haven't been feeding her.  ?!?  We looked at her, shocked, and she said Maggie told her that we weren't feeding her anything.  We listed the things we had fed her, and she instructed us to get her rice and  "irish" potatoes.  Thank heavens we have a restaurant here!  So, Mark went and talked to the waitresses and they knew exactly what we needed, so Maggie ate like a queen.  They even gave her chicken legs, which she ate clean.  We also took pictures, in case we needed them as proof!  When we returned her this afternoon, her "usual" nanny was there,  who speaks decent English, and she explained that she believed we had been feeding her, but in Maggie's book, she hasn't had "food" until she's had potatoes and rice.  Oy vey.  So, who knows what in the world she went back telling them tonight, with the "episodes" we had here!

So then I start hearing the hiss of satan - "what in the world are we going through all of this for?  this is crazy! for only one child?  look at all these kids - one isn't going to make any difference!"  But then Jesus whispers "yes this is hard, but look what I did for you - and I would have done it for only you."

So my mind is tired of being a battlefield and my body is weary from battling this environment - and even Maggie.

But the upside is that all of the sudden, the coin flips and she's as sweet as can be.  ??  She talked more than she ever has today - mostly in her language, but was eager to repeat words we gave her, sang some songs for us, gave hugs, fixed my hair again, laughed and giggled and laughed.  If we didn't have those moments where she can just melt a heart, I don't know what we'd do.

After we dropped her off, Hamza took us to the mall, where we found a "Café Java" - we'd seen it before, but hadn't tried it out - and that was just the treat we needed.  By the time we got there, Jack was dead to the world tired, Noah had a stomach ache and Mark and I were just done.  But this place was the nicest place we've been in here - very modern/American looking, and had wonderful food.  Jack got his pasta alfredo he'd been missing, Noah got a beef burrito, I had a chicken quesadilla and Mark got a burger and fries.  Jack and Noah were like NEW PEOPLE once they started eating - they were so happy. :)  They're already asking to go back.  It was kind of expensive but really worth it - we all desperately needed a little "normal."

These two precious hearts are also heavily campaigning for a 9-yr old girl at the orphanage - she is VERY sweet - speaks English (is in school, and they teach English there)  and is outgoing and really likes Jack and Noah.  :)  So they are ON A MISSION to adopt her too.  No joke.  We seriously hear about it every hour.  I wish life could be as simple as it is from a child's perspective!  Can you imagine how different things would be?

We've started counting down the days until we come home - something I feel somewhat guilty about - I simply can NOT wait to get back to the U.S., but struggle with feeling that way when Maggie will still be here.  See, there's that battlefield of the mind again!!

Pray for our court date tomorrow - that we wouldn't have to wait long, that the kids would be GOOD and will manage the heat ok (we're told there's no a/c and it's super hot in the waiting room), and that we would have clear, concise answers for the judge.  Thank you so much - don't know how we'd get through this without all of you! 

Anne:)

Court
We just experienced the worst day of our lives - we are reeling, but will try to explain.  Our hearing was scheduled for 1:00, so we arrived at 12:30 - we were finally called at 5:45.  For over 5 hours we sat waiting in a filthy room, with cockroaches (one even on my shoulder).  We burned through our water in the first 3 hours, so from about 4:00 until 8:30 we had no water and were sweating like crazy.  Maggie thought she needed to go potty every hour, and the bathroom facilities were so horrible, you guys wouldn't have set foot in them.  I've never seen anything like it.  Once we entered the hearing room, things got worse.  It was at least 110 degrees in there, and the entire 2+ hour hearing was done in Lugandan so we couldn't understand anything, and no one was translating for us.  It was awful.  We could tell right off the bat, with our first witness, that things were not going well - by reading faces, the judge's voice, etc.  It was clear he didn't believe her (the woman Maggie was evidently left with) - he grilled her for an hour.  The social worker did send me a note that said "he's suspicious.  He doesn't believe we've tried to find her mother.  He thinks we're hiding information." Then he called the social worker - who said about 10 words, was scolded, and sat back down.  Then came the guy who's the father of Maggie's half brother - by the time he was done, he was crying.  Again, we have no idea at this point what's going on.

At the end of 2+ hours, everyone starts packing up their stuff - neither Mark or I have testified, so we knew something was very wrong - and the judge finally decides to speak English and explain to us what had happened.  The man who is the father of Maggie's half brother is now claiming to be Maggie's father.  That's what he was crying about.  I absolutely fell apart.  We managed to get out of the room, at which point all 4 of us fell apart.  It was such a mess.

We don't know what happens next, if anything.  We can't hardly think.  The judge has scheduled another hearing for next week, which we will not be here for.  We have a meeting tomorrow at 10:30 at our attorney's office.
You can imagine how Mark and I are feeling, but Jack and Noah are DEVASTATED.  I can't even explain it to you.  They have cried and cried - my heart is absolutely shattered.  We contacted our travel agent to see if we could switch our flights to tomorrow, but she said everything is booked between now and Thursday.  So we are stuck.

That's all I know for now.  We all desperately need sleep.  We'll update you more after our meeting tomorrow.  Love, Anne

Attorney Meeting

We met with our attorneys this morning and it went much as we expected.  We are as lost and confused as ever.  Our attorneys, Mark and Alice, said Maggie's father is supposed to come in tomorrow to sign a "consent," which evidently terminates parental rights - someone from their office went to his work today to explain it to him, then give him time to think (ha! 24 hours??).  Evidently he knew all along he was her father, but didn't come forward when questioned in the investigation because he thought he would be arrested.  Last night, in court, when he was sworn in before "allah" (he's Muslim), he decided he couldn't lie anymore.  We had noticed throughout the day, he was taking a special interest in Maggie, but we didn't think much of it because people are just friendly here.  Now we can see what was happening.  He has several wives and "over 10" children.

So Mark and Alice want us to stay another week, for the hearing on Monday, when they can present this "consent" to the judge.  They also informed us the judge won't rule on our case unless we testify in person.  When we asked about the rest of the hearing that we couldn't understand, they said that the judge didn't believe the woman whom Maggie was left with - kept calling her a liar, was trying to rattle her on purpose "to get to the truth."  Now they seem to think he's over his suspicions.  We of course have no idea because we couldn't understand anything.  They also told us this judge currently is particularly ornery and very particular about adoption cases because of some bad ones he's had recently.

Some other background: we've heard of instances where families get stuck here for 2-4 months trying to get their cases through because of all kinds of crap like this.  Interestingly enough, the employees here at the resort are very angry (they love Maggie) and are telling us Uganda is corrupt.  ?!?!?  Great.  This is coming from Ugandans!!

So.  The decision we are faced with is whether to leave on Thursday as planned, and let this mess get investigated and settled (?) - or stay and attend another hearing from you-know-where on Monday, not knowing what in the world could happen.  Some concerns?  We don't trust this father (oh, and no, they aren't doing a DNA test, they say it isn't necessary) - we are concerned he could sign the stupid document and then 1) change his mind; or 2) not show up for court on Monday {they told us this morning that he was actually a "flight risk" for yesterday's hearing - they were worried he wouldn't show up!}; we are concerned what ADDITIONAL information this loose-cannon judge is going to request (and reschedule yet again), given his anger at everyone involved yesterday - and he didn't even want to hear from us; we are so unbelievably emotionally exhausted we can't think straight; getting through each day here is a challenge; and then of course there are our bank accounts, which are running dry.  We simply cannot afford to keep this up indefinitely - we do not have unlimited resources.  One suggestion our attorneys had?  Let everyone else go home and I (Anne) stay by myself.

My biggest struggle right now is we believe we were asked by God to do this - so we have dutifully pushed and pulled and struggled through many hurdles to do this, and we are just done.  We don't have anything left in us to fight.  Do we leave on Thursday, put this completely in God's hands and let Him work whatever miracles He needs to?  Or do we stay and struggle more?  If we knew we could get everything done on Monday, we would stay.  We honestly don't know the options or future possibilities if we leave.

I know you don't have the answers - we're just trying to explain our mindset to you (and yes, Mark is editing this as well) so you can see where we are at.  Very, very, lost.  Of course we welcome your thoughts/ideas/opinions, but please don't be offended if we don't/can't use them.
As always, we love you all - Anne

Last Day
Today was yet another roller coaster - we seriously can't believe what each day will bring.  First, we want to apologize profusely for taking you along on this ridiculous drama-filled roller coaster - we feel bad for the emotional turmoil we've caused you all.  But we did feel like we needed to wrap this up for you.

Today began with me waking up feeling really uneasy about leaving, but not trusting my thought process.  I sent you emails, Josh, Betsy and Dad, indicating we were leaving - partly for my own benefit to work through the reasoning, thinking maybe leaving would finally sit right with me.  It didn't.  So I reminded God that His word says to submit to my husband, and asked God that if He wanted us to stay, He would convict Mark's heart of that, so I could be removed from the decision.  Throughout the morning, we didn't even discuss the issue - then late morning, Mark broke down in tears and told me he didn't think he could get on a plane tomorrow and not see this through.  I was shocked - God had answered.  We agreed we would stay.

Ok - so seriously, then about 15 minutes after arriving at this decision, we received a text message from the attorney's office telling us to keep our travel plans and go home tomorrow.  We knew they were meeting with the "father" this morning to have him sign the consent form - so we realized something had gone terribly wrong.  Again.  They said they had received "new information" (again!!!) and asked if we could come in for a meeting at 4:00.

So we met with them at 4:00.  The father verbally consented, but in doing some "field work" and interviews yesterday, one of their social workers discovered there were lies in his story.  (Big surprise).  Somehow, they managed to track down the mother's landlord from 2 years ago, and got some information from her that was inconsistent with the father's story.  So, they decided they cannot go before a judge on Monday with this guy who keeps lying, and now they are also obligated to follow the leads on Maggie's mother. 

What happens next?  We wait.  They are doing a DNA test on this guy to make sure he IS the father - if he's not, it would be a great thing for our case.  If he is, they have to continue to work with him until they get the full truth.  They will also follow the leads they now have on her mother.  They told us they are not required to locate her, but are required to provide the court proof that they put sufficient effort into looking for her.  At some point down the road, if they get all of this straightened out, our case can go before a judge again - but it puts us back at square one in the process.  Meaning two more trips, instead of just one.  Meanwhile, Maggie sits in the orphanage.  I cannot tell you how this breaks our hearts.

Where are we at?  Confused.  Deflated.  Angry.  Embarrassed.  Heartsick.  Noah sat in on the meeting with us - and it put new life into him once he heard there was a sliver of hope.  Jack didn't want to be in the meeting - I don't blame him, this has all been very hard on him.  Mark and I don't know if we should be hopeful, or if we should just resign ourselves to the fact this really may not happen - we have no idea what to think.  I'm in a state of shock and nausea just thinking about how this entire trip was for nothing (adoption-related, anyway).  Nothing makes sense to us right now. 

One thing we keep telling the kids is that God is GOOD, and has a plan for each of us, including Maggie.  They believe it, and so do we.  However, it doesn't take away the pain of all this. 

So our suitcases are packed, and we leave for the airport at noon tomorrow.  We'll be in touch once we arrive in the states.
Much love and many thanks to all of you - Anne

Email Updates Continued (Days 3-5) . .

Day 3

Doing our update a little earlier today because the boys are needing some undivided attention this evening and it's going to be an early-to-bed night for us.  :)

Today we are thankful for our driver, Hamza.  More on that later.

We didn't get to have Maggie today because we had an appointment with our attorneys, and there was some "event" at the orphanage (not sure what it was).  So he picked us up at 10:00 and we went to the attorney office - wow, a world apart from an attorney office in the U.S.  A tiny little house with 3 attorneys sharing one little room.  But they were dressed to the nines and you can tell they take their jobs very seriously, which was a relief to us.  They also speak very good English.  Their names are Alice and Mark, and they took us through what will happen on Monday - parts of which blew us out of the water - mainly the part about Maggie having a BROTHER, who will be there, and will be questioned by the judge.  We've not heard this before today.  He's 6, and shares a mother with Maggie, but has a different father, whom he lives with.  We were told that Maggie was offered to this man previously, but he wasn't interested in raising her.  (Can you imagine??  His son is her brother!!??)  So this little boy and his dad will be there to testify about the character of Maggie's mother.  The woman Maggie was left with will also be there - and she's critical for our case - she's the "abandonment" witness, and also knows something about her mother.

They also explained that our judge is "flexible" with his time and doesn't think anything of making people wait hours - sometimes several - so while we are scheduled for 1:00, they said it could be "into the evening" before we get called.  Ugggh.  And of course we'll have all three kids.  They told us to bring snacks, drinks, entertainment.  I have anxiety just thinking about it.

Sidenote: yesterday, Bethany decided to change the Uganda program (nothing like us being right in the middle!!) - unbelievable.  Remind me to NEVER EVER sign up for a "pilot program" again.  Anyway, they are now recommending ONE six to eight week trip to complete the adoption process.  Reason being, the passport office used to allow the attorneys to apply for the child's passport after receiving the court ruling (while the family is back in the U.S.) - however, have now changed their minds and want the adoptive parents present to apply for the passport.  Which essentially means we would have to return 1-2 weeks after getting home. 

So we had a conversation with Alice and Mark about that - - my Mark explained that with his job, being home only 1-2 weeks just isn't possible - and they assured us we could return whenever we'd like.  So that was a relief.  But that also means we're looking at the end of July for a return trip.  Crazy!!  Paul and LaRayne - Mark said to be sure to tell Grandma Shirley we will come to Willmar soon after our 2nd trip to celebrate her birthday. :(

Last, they gave us a "to-do" list today, which we joked was like getting a clue on the Amazing Race.  It was a list of things we need to bring to court with us.  We had to go to the Buganda Kingdom parliament (Uganda is part of the Buganda Kingdom, for which there is a king and queen and parliament - sounds similar to the arrangement in England) and purchase photos of the king and queen, get a "kingdom certificate" that gives us cultural names and a tribe (yes, now we have a tribe), and we had to take 2 "cultural" photos - showing us doing something cultural. 

So Hamza took our list and got us everywhere we needed to go, translated for us, and even negotiated prices (he explained that many places will charge us more just because we are white - and we even witnessed that today).  At one point we wanted to buy a "baby" soccer ball from a street seller for Maggie, and he wouldn't let us because they were charging us too much.  Love him.  Anyway, we ended up getting a LONG tour of parliament and an explanation of the kingdom - most of it was interesting but Jack was really struggling again with jet lag (and he even slept 11 hours last night!).  After that, we had to get prints of some of the photos we took (to bring to the judge), so Hamza found a place that would print from our SD card.  Phew.

Then he brought us back and we stayed here all afternoon and just relaxed.  We're looking forward to protein bars for supper. :)  Tomorrow morning before we pick up Maggie we have to go to the U.S. Embassy to pick up a physical form for her (which the U.S. Embassy requires for her visa), so Hamza's picking us up at 7:00 because he's worried about the traffic.  (By the way, last night when he was attempting to deliver us to the mall, we got caught in a traffic jam, so decided to get out and walk the rest of the way.  He told us this morning he sat in that spot for 1.5 hours after we left!!!!)

Lastly, I set up a Shutterfly site to post our pictures to - here's the address: http://5happycampers.shutterfly.com/  NOW, please do not share that with anyone - we don't want it distributed.  Africa Day 2 is posted on there.  Enjoy!

Specific prayer requests - please start praying that these witnesses for our case SHOW UP - if they don't, we're going to be in a mess.  Please also pray that we would get in for our hearing quickly, and that the kids would remain patient while waiting.  Please also pray that Jack would get over his jet lag. :)  Thank you family - love you all dearly!!  Anne :)

P.S. Mark read this before I sent it, and I think he's losing it - he was rolling on the bed laughing hysterically at all of this.  All of this is so surreal!!!

Day 4
Hi family - the internet service is really bad here tonight, so hoping I can actually get this off to you . . .
Today was hard - we are tired, partly, I think, because you go through SO MANY emotions in one day here!  And dropping Maggie off this evening didn't go well.  :(  But we'll start with the good parts!  She is a riot - so fun to be around.  We brought a new dress for her to wear today, and of course she gets so excited about new clothes!  And yes, mom, we returned her to the orphanage with it on, so it will stay there. :)  While we were there this morning, all the kids decided they wanted to do a "show" for us - singing and dancing, and I tell you, it was one of THE MOST precious things I've ever seen.  You know the song "I am a Friend of God?"  Can't remember right now who sings it, but they sang that, in English, with their ADORABLE African accents - it was priceless.  I shot some "video" with my iPhone - we'll have to figure out how to get it to you guys.  They all tied either long-sleeved shirts or pants around their waists, so you get more "bang for your buck" when you shake your hips.  I seriously can't describe how cute it was.  By the end we were singing with them.  Interestingly enough (and possibly some foreshadowing), Maggie didn't participate much - preferred to stand by us.

Anyway, the four of us compiled a list of things we wanted to share with you about the day with Maggie:
- She can do somersaults (sp?) on the bed - and in Mark's opinion is very coordinated when it comes to playing catch and having "rhythm".
- The kids had the iPod on with the speakers, and by accident the Christmas song "Born is the King" by Hillsong came on, and she just lit up - started bopping her head around and dancing.  By the end of the day she was singing to "do do do do" part!  Christmas in June, in Africa. :)
- We think the indoor potty has become a novelty - she went like 6 times today, with a big grin each time, so we're thinking it was just fun for her.
- She got ahold of Mark's Uganda travel book and was enthralled by the section with pictures.  We figured she probably hasn't seen many books, if any?  So we went to the mall "bookstore" tonight (think more garage-sale-ish) and bought a couple picture books for her.
- She then hopped off the bed, took said book, and balanced it on her HEAD and walked across the room.  Can you imagine our shock?
- This poor sweet girl is TIRED.  She was here for a little over an hour and we could tell was struggling.  So we got her to lay down, and sure enough, she was out for over 2 hours.  It's obvious to us that she never has the opportunity for peace and quiet, and to be that comfortable.  She LOVES pillows, which fits, because they don't have any at the orphanage.
- One negative, but not surprising, is she will hit when annoyed, and sometimes we can't even tell the reason.  We know from training that this is totally typical - likely her survival and defense mechanism.  We'll obviously work on it when we get home, but Jack wants it fixed NOW. :)
- We've discovered that sometimes its fun to just sit and watch what she'll do - let her lead, so to speak.  I had a ponytail holder on my wrist, and she came up and took it off - put it on her wrist, and climbed on the bed behind me and proceeded to put my hair in a ponytail.  Cutest thing ever. We were FLOORED.  And of course laughing and praising her, but I think we got too loud because then she got scared. :(
- We got out the pictures we had printed to go in an album  that we'll leave with her, and just went through a few of them.  Our family picture is helpful in getting her to name us, which she did really well today.  Then we got out a picture of Tucker, and she started laughing!  Then came a picture of Murphy and she laughed harder.  It was soooo cute.  Can't IMAGINE what it will be like when she actually sees them.

So when we returned her, her "main" nanny was explaining to her that we'd be back in the morning.  It didn't go well - the nanny told us she didn't want to stay there, she wanted to come with us.  This is after only two full days with us!  And exactly what I was worried about.  I wouldn't want to stay there either.  So please, please pray that God would protect her heart, give her peace, and give her some understanding that we'll be back.

Another interesting twist today - when we picked her up this morning, "mama" was there (the director), and she asked us if she could come with Maggie to our hotel and if we'd buy her lunch.  ?!?!??  Stumbling on our words, we asked when, and she said "you pick."  So we said Sunday, which she agreed upon, and we left.  And I promptly got in touch with our attorney's office to see if this was normal, or what - they replied immediately and said NO, don't do that.  (There are adoption laws in place that govern what we are allowed to give, or even gift to the orphanage and it's employees - it can't appear that we are "buying" a child, or paying for extra special care for her).  They said they would call her and handle it, but we're a little bit worried now about what she thinks, and whether or not she'll cause a problem for us.  Pray for that too!  We need her to show up in court on Monday, and be favorable towards us.

Prior to all of THIS, we started our day at the U.S. Embassy - had to pick up a medical form that will need to be completed by a doctor after examining Maggie - which is required for our Embassy interview on our next trip.  And let me tell you, that place is locked down like Fort Knox!  Guards everywhere, and carrying machine guns!  We weren't allowed to take ANYTHING with us inside except a bottle of water and our passports.  (Talk about trusting Hamza - we left him with my purse and Mark's wallet!!).  We think we counted 5 security checkpoints we had to go through!    We were in and out fairly quickly, but while there, met another adoptive couple from Seattle - it was so GOOD to see some white people and carry on a conversation without struggle!  They've been here THREE MONTHS trying to get their adoption completed - however, they have no agency, and had a terrible attorney.  So we were thankful for Bethany and Nkwanga (the law firm)!!  This family is staying really close to us, so we're going to get together on Sunday.

Whew!  Ok, that's it, if you aren't asleep by now.  I can't get our photos from yesterday and today to load, but will keep trying.  Just keep checking the website.  Love you all, and thank you again and again and again for your prayers!  Anne :)

Day 5

We are now over a week into this crazy adventure, with one more week until we are home!  Today we all really started missing some things - like FOOD.  The boys sat here and reminisced about their favorite restaurants until Noah was beside himself so I made them quit. :)  As for me, I'm missing my washing machine and dryer.  Big time.  There is a laundry service here, so we've used that for our clothes, but we can't have them wash underwear because it's disrespectful, I guess.  So I washed underwear in a garbage can and the bathroom sink today, using laundry detergent I brought from home.  Great fun.  Not.  I asked Mark if I'm a more official international traveler now that I've washed clothes in the bathroom sink.  And yes, I brought hospital-grade bleach wipes to clean the sink afterwards. :)  So we currently have underwear hanging from everything in our two rooms, hoping it will dry.

Anyway, the boys and Mark went to get Maggie this morning because I wasn't feeling well (I've started my round of antibiotics and am doing better tonight).  She had a bit of a rough day - we could tell she was tired the minute she got here, so we put her down for an early nap and she slept 1.5 - 2 hours.  She also was hitting a lot more today - so we're going to email Renee (our local social worker) and ask her how to handle that at this point in the process.  It's got to be really frustrating for her to not be able to communicate with us.  She did have some good moments, though - she loves messing around on the Doodle Pro we brought - so Mark drew her his Vikings helmet, and said "Go Vikes!"  Well she picked up on that right away and repeated him!  And then proceeded to say it ALL DAY because she got such a response from all her boys.  :)  She also repeated "please" "thank you" and learned "bubbles" when we were blowing them outside.  She loved chasing bubbles around.  She seems to be improving on our names as well - - although I'm wondering if anything will really stick once we leave.

And that's about it for the "Maggie" summary.  The days get long here, as we feel like do the same things over and over, but we've read that too much stimulation is not helpful for orphans.  The employees here are in LOVE with her, as they are with Jack and Noah (we've decided they probably don't see many white kids - I can count on two hands the number of white adults we've seen since we entered the country!!).  One sweet waitress tonight (ordered French fries from room service - we aren't living very dangerously) actually THANKED us for adopting her - she said it's so sad how many orphans there are here.  She thanked us over and over.

Which brings me to another child of ours - Jack.  He gave me permission to share this with you.  He had been laying in their room for a LONG time just listening to his iPod, so I went in and laid down by him and asked him if everything was ok.  That opened the floodgates, and that poor child cried and cried for almost 30 minutes until I could calm him down enough to talk to me.  Frankly, he was scaring me, he was so upset.  It turns out his heart has been ripped into pieces - he finally said "I just feel so bad for 'those kids' (the orphans) - they shouldn't have to go through that!"  He was WRECKED.  Those precious kids have gotten to him - like today, they all yelled "hi Jack and Noah!" each time they arrived, and "bye Jack and Noah!" when they left.  They've really gotten under his skin.  I had kind of been wondering what the boys thought about their living conditions - it's not good - and I think Jack's had it all bottled up this week. But the other issue he's having is he can't understand why we can't bring one more home - and he's dead serious - and so is Noah.  They have been hammering at that issue every. single. day. So there's that.  Uggh.

Lastly, we had a piece of REALLY GOOD news today, but I have to give you some background so you understand.  When we come back for the 2nd trip, in order to get our Embassy interview scheduled, Maggie has to have an immigration physical.  Well, lately families have had problems getting that scheduled when they arrive - for example, one family arrived here on Thursday.  First on their agenda was to get the physical done - but they couldn't get an appointment until July 1st!!!  So they are just SITTING here, with nothing to do until July 1.  What a waste!  So, we decided to get the physical done on THIS trip.  Stella (our social worker) called for an appointment, but couldn't get one until Friday (not sure how we got in earlier than this other family?) - but we leave Thurs.  So I went out on a limb and asked Stella if someone couldn't please take Maggie for us on Friday, as it would make a big difference for us on our next trip.  She agreed!  Couldn't believe it.  So that will be a BIG step out of the way when we get here next time.

That's it for now - there's a major disco going on outside, so hoping we can sleep through it!  We're supposed to get together with our Seattle friends tomorrow at a restaurant here - will be nice to hang out with some Americans. :)
Prayer requests - Pray for Maggie - that she wouldn't be confused, and would have peace when we leave her; protection of health for ALL of us; that Jack's broken heart would be mended; and that all our witnesses will show up on Monday.
Love to you all!  Anne

Email Updates to Family (Departure through Day 2) . . .

Departing thoughts:
Hi family -

I woke up this morning not feeling very brave, or strong, and really feeling like we are entering the unknown . . . actually, really just scared to death.  And I thought I'd be "real" with all of you so that when God gets me through this, all the glory will be His, and it will be a testament to His faithfulness.  I've not yet been able to get my head around all of this - it's so big - way bigger than anything Mark and I could accomplish on our own.  But I know that's when God does His best work - in our weakness, and in our complete surrender.  Don't get me wrong, I know my God is in control, He goes with me, and there's not a place in this world that He can't reach - but right now I need my "head knowledge" to connect with my heart (and stomach!).  So thought I'd send some specific prayer requests for you to pray for over the next couple weeks:
- safe travel, getting there without any hitches
- good rest
- that God would prepare Maggie's heart for us
- for just the "right amount" of bonding - that she would get to know us, but not be heartbroken and confused when we leave
- protection of health for all of us - especially in regards to what we eat/avoiding the water, etc.
- that we would make a good impression on the orphanage - we were reminded by Bethany this morning that we are the "trail blazers" - the first family adopting from this orphanage, so it's a new and fragile relationship, and important in terms of future adoptions from there.

Lastly, in the midst of my struggle this morning, we received Maggie's June assessment (the first we've received since her referral) - I felt like it was God's timely reminder to me that she is the reason we're doing all of this!  I've attached it so you can check it out.  There are some pretty cute pictures!!  And she has a little friend we could bring home for one of you . . . ?? :)

**Now, looking back, it's amazing to see how God answered EVERY ONE of this prayers!!**


First Update
Hi family!!!

It feels so good to finally be able to get in touch with you!  I'm going to try and update you once a day - and I'm sorry ahead of time if I give you too much info - I'm going to print these when we get home for a journal for us - so this is just as much for us as you!  :)

Travel went well until we arrived in Africa. :) The 13 hour flight really wasn't bad - super nice plane, seats that reclined more than average ones, and we had more space than U.S. planes, but we still couldn't sleep. :(  They fed us THREE times - all for free (well, included in the ticket price) - so that broke up the time.  We had TVs at each seat, so for Mark and I, it was fun to watch where we were flying.  We flew directly over Benghazi - yikes.  :)

Anyway, we got to Addis Ababa in Ethiopia and that was a shock.  In fact, Mark was so shocked, I had to take over in the airport. :)  It was very obvious we were in a 3rd world country.  It basically consisted of one room - PACKED with people - hot (no A/C) and smoky (you can smoke anywhere over here).  We had to wait a while to even find a seat to sit down.  Anyway, then on the 2 hour flight from there to Kampala, the boys CRASHED.  Fell asleep so hard we had a difficult time waking them up.  Which didn't help their disposition for arrival in Uganda.

Arriving here was weird - no signs or directions on what to do or where to go.  The plane (and it was a huge one) unloaded in the parking lot-type area and we walked into the airport.  We figured out how to obtain our visas, and then had to stand in line for an hour to get them. !!  Again, quite hot and we were all DONE.  Once we got out of baggage claim, our driver (Humza) and social worker (Stella) were waiting for us with a sign - it was funny how relieving it was to have someone know us.  We've definitely learned what it feels like to be a minority - on both flights, we stuck out like sore thumbs.  African people are very formal - there was not a pair of shorts or a tshirt anywhere on the flights except on the boys and Mark.  We were very underdressed.

The drive from the airport to our hotel took over an hour - but the boys zonked outy again the minute we got in the car so they missed the whole thing.  Noah would try and wake up and look around but couldn't stay awake.  Frankly I don't think my mind could comprehend or process everything we saw - it's absolutely overwhelming.  Millions of people, extreme poverty and filth everywhere.  It's just shocking to see it in person.  We arrived at the hotel and everyone was very helpful in getting us moved in - Mark joked about our "entourage" - Humza, Stella, and 3 people from the hotel.  It's nice by African standards - there was a layer of dirt on everything, so I used an entire canister of wipes (that I had brought from home) to clean.  The beds are SUPER HARD, but all in all, it's quite nice compared to what's around us.  I was too tired last night to get online and type anything - we went to bed and slept 12 hours.  The boys think sleeping under their mosquito net is the coolest thing.  :)

So today, we got up and went to the orphanage - spent 2 hours there.  It was the most overwhelming/overcoming thing I've ever done in my life.  It's located in the middle of a bunch of shacks - we couldn't believe it when we pulled in.  Humza and Stella went with us - Stella stayed long enough to introduce us.  When we got out of the car and walked to the gate, Maggie was on the upper level deck (I use that term loosely) waving at us. :)  She was just precious - and fully aware of who we were and what we were doing there!  We couldn't believe it.  Her "mamas" there said she's been terribly excited the past few days.  They said - and this will get you - she woke everyone up this morning at 5:00 because she wanted to sing "praise songs about what God has done for her."  Can you believe it??  She sang a little "hallelujah" song for us - oh my word.  She's very shy - but took a strong liking to Mark right away (WHAT IS IT WITH HIM???), was fascinated with the boys and did fine with me. 

There are 24 kids there - 16 girls and 8 boys - and I decided immediately that if most people could visit an orphanage like that for even 5 minutes, there would be no more orphans in the world.  I wanted to snatch up a bunch of the others.  A couple of them, you could tell, were starved for affection - 2 other little girls and a little boy wanted us to constantly pick them up, or just wanted hugs.  To say it breaks your heart is a gross understatement.  And the nannies there were wonderful - very kind, gentle women - I don't know how they keep up with all the kids. The director wants Mark and I to call her "mama" and the boys to call her "grandmamma."  She was amazing - big woman, with big hugs for all of us - several times.

We got out our gifts, and oh my word, was that a hit.  It was amazing to see how EXCITED they got about the littlest things - just pure joy.  Bets, you had emailed me about donating money - what I'd actually like to do next time is come with a suitcase or two full of clothes and toys/cars/jewelry - so any contributions we can get to that effort would be great.  I had brought some Hello Kitty necklaces and bracelets (from the $1 aisle at Target) and they were overjoyed with those.  So, so happy to get them, and wore them so proudly - coming up to us all the time and showing them to us.  The other big hit was inflatable beach balls - we only brought two, but could have used 20.  And their clothes were really ragged - most full of holes and worn out.  Mom, the director got most excited about that green/white striped shirt you sent.  I could tell clothing is a big need.  The kids all had amazing manners as well - they get down on their knees in front of you to say thank you.

Anyway, 2 hours there was literally all I could handle.  Mark even said he felt like we'd spent a whole day there.  It's just a sensory and emotional overload. Worse yet, it was hard on Maggie when we left.    Stella had to leave us right away, and I nearly panicked, but there was a male Ugandan social worker there named Isaac who spoke English so he was very helpful.  A couple of the nannies spoke some English as well.  It's exhausting and somewhat scary to not be able to communicate very well.  Stella and Humza speak some English, but it can be hard to understand at times.

So the bad news of the day - there's been a major misunderstanding between Bethany and the orphanage - the director and the nannies there were MORTIFIED to hear (from us!) that we would be going back to the U.S. without Maggie, and would be returning to get her.  They thought she was leaving on this trip.  They were very clear that she will be heartbroken.  This is really upsetting for us.  Please pray that somehow this gets worked out - that the orphanage understands this is out of our control (they sort of seemed to think we could prevent it), and most of all, pray for Maggie's heart, and that she would understand we are coming back for her.

While on prayer requests, pray that we would find some level of comfort here - everything is quite scary - we don't feel like we can go anywhere, and we haven't figured out how/what to eat.  We've been surviving on protein bars and granola bars we brought from home, but those will run out.  This is just not at all like a normal trip or vacation. 

Much, much love to all of you - missing you already - even just being able to talk on the phone.  Oh, and we don't think Mark's phone is working, so don't plan on texts (like we thought we could).  We'll be checking email.  Please keep praying - that's the only way we are surviving - God's grace and mercy and protection!!  Anne :)

Day 2

Hi family!!  We are exhausted, but I'm determined to get an update off before we head to bed.  Today was good - so incredibly surreal - so many times I think "am I really here and are we really doing this?"  It's kind of like my head knows these things but it hasn't connected with the rest of me.  I don't think I really knew or understood "surreal" until now!

We picked Maggie up at 8:15 - the ladies from the orphanage had her all dressed "up" (meaning really cute clothes, not the torn, worn out ones - they must have a special "stash" they pull from on days like this).  They told her to do her "model walk" and oh my word it was the cutest thing - hands on her hips and wiggled across the room - she definitely enjoys "showing off."  It was so funny.  Anyway, she was excited to leave, so we went back to our hotel - she almost fell asleep in the car on the way (and it's only 15-20 min).  Our driver's car broke down on the way (he's a super nice, helpful guy, but has an older car - no A/C - the alternator broke today).  So he called someone else and they picked us up within 5-10 minutes and took us the rest of the way.

We could tell she was scared once we got here - very serious look on her face, and she just sat still for a while.  We all desperately wanted to know what was going through her mind.  I pulled out a Dora doll that we brought, and she lit up when I gave it to her - that helped.  After a while, she started to warm up and smile - Mark even got her laughing, which was the first we'd heard from her.  We just messed around in the rooms - did some puzzles I brought (mom - those foam ones we bought at TJMaxx) and she LOVED them.  She knew exactly what to do, which shocked us - and she did them correctly for the most part.  We also had a ball, and she loved, loved, loved playing catch - I told the boys it was good they got a sister who loves a ball.  It was interesting to watch - when she'd throw it to us, she made sure to include everyone - each of us had a turn.  We thought that was interesting for her age. We taught her how to say our names (Jack, Noah, Mommy, Daddy), which is PRECIOUS.  I don't know that she could tell you who matches up with what name, but she can say them!

That's one difficulty is the language barrier - she'd say a few phrases but we didn't know what she was saying. :(  I did learn the word for "potty" and she did great with that - went 3 times while she was here and no accidents!  She was TERRIFIED of the faucet in the sink, though - but I figured out if I turned it on low, and had my hands in there too, it was ok.  We are thinking she hasn't seen much indoor plumbing before (their bathroom is outside- we haven't seen it, but we know they "wash hands" in a kiddie pool filled with water).

She ate everything we put in front of her - peanuts for a snack, peanut butter sandwich and banana for lunch - and Jack and Noah introduced her to cheeseballs (the chip kind) and bbq chips - she loved both.  :)

After lunch we all piled on the bed to watch "the Lorax" - she was super tired, rubbing her eyes, etc. - all of her info says she never takes a nap, but thought we'd have some "quiet time."  Well she fell asleep within 10 minutes between Jack and Noah.  She slept for almost two hours - I'm sure this whole process is very scary and exhausting for her as well.  After her nap, we tried out the pool, but she was really scared of it.  She sat on my lap on the edge and splashed her feet around in the water, but that was about it.

Taking her back (at 4:30) was hard - she didn't look very happy - although we could tell she was still tired - she nearly fell asleep again in the car ride back.  She did ok when we said goodbye - waved, etc. and we were happy to see her talking with two of her friends (wish we knew what they were saying!!).

Overall, we were really impressed - she's smarter/quicker than we expected and definitely self-sufficient.  Which is sort of sad - we can tell she's had to "survive," so it will be interesting to see if that fades.  She even cleans up after herself - picks up stuff, arranges pillows on the bed, etc.  ???

We don't get to have her tomorrow - we have appointments with the Bethany office and our attorney - hopefully will get some process questions answered.  We'll have her again Friday.

So it was fun, but so very exhausting!!  After dropping her off, our driver dropped us off at the mall so we could have pizza again for supper - but then we had to walk home which was a little more than Jack or I could handle today.  He dealt with some jet lag last night - couldn't sleep - only got about 4 hours, so he was really struggling by the end of the day.  The thing that got to me today is just how dirty everything is - oh my word, the dirt is everywhere and the pollution is terrible - and just the stench of exhaust and sewer all the time.  Our driver explained that his power windows frequently don't work because the dirt builds up in them.  !!  I'm also starting to understand our emissions laws in the U.S. - by the time we walked back to our hotel, both my eyes and throat burned and I felt covered in filth.  We all enjoy a shower at the end of the day!!

And the traffic here is perfectly insane.  Mark was just reading in his Uganda book that the biggest danger to foreigners here is a car accident.  Great.  Generally speaking, you drive on the left side of the road (the steering wheels are on the right side of the car), but no one really pays much attention to that and vehicles swerve in and out and between, whether or not it appears they will fit.  There are no traffic laws, and the motorcycles (boda bodas) are the craziest drivers here - they are constantly swerving in between cars - we've learned they have an extremely high fatality rate.  We saw one get hit today, luckily no one was hurt.  Our driver appears to be safe and responsible so far - just pray it continues that way!!

Ok, that's it for now - more adventures coming tomorrow, so we need to head to bed!  Please keep praying - that's so important to us - there are times I have a quiet moment and know I need to pray, but can't always form logical thoughts and don't even know where to begin.  So we desperately need you clear-headed people standing in the gap for us.  It's critical and we couldn't be more appreciative.  Love you all so, so much - more tomorrow!
Anne :)

Our Adoption Story, Part 2: First Trip to Uganda

In the flurry of travel arrangements, there was a point where I stopped and thought "This is CRAZY!  The lengths we are going to for one child half way across the world?  Seriously?".  God stopped that thought IN ITS TRACKS and quietly reminded me "Look what I did for YOU."  Ouch.  Ok.  That thought got put on replay in my mind and I recognized my fears for what they were - lies of Satan, attempting to derail me. 

It was around this time that I also realized I was "one of those people" that I didn't think I could ever be - but had discovered that people who adopt are not perfect, don't have it all figured out and certainly don't have it all together.   We are not strong.  We are not brave.  Not in the least.  We are NOT "saints," as people will try and say.  We are not "rescuers."  We are simply people who are surrendered to God's will.  We are people who are terribly ill-equipped, in and of ourselves, and desperately dependent on God and HIS strength and enabling.  We are willing hands and feet, but even then, they are only willing hands and feet because HE has enabled them to be.  HE equips us, every moment of every day on this journey.  IT'S ALL HIM.  Seriously.

As our travel date approached, my fears grew.  So much so that one of my chronic conditions flared up (stress is a trigger).  I am not an international traveler.  I have no desire to be.  I happen to like my climate-controlled home, my own bed, my clean water, access to whatever food I might feel like, Target, WalMart, nice hotels, Starbucks, etc. etc.  :)  I was being yanked so far out of my comfort zone I could not fathom how I was going to get through this.  The packing and lists and what-ifs were overwhelming.  Do you know how much STUFF you have to bring when you go to a 3rd world country?  You have to try and anticipate any and every thing that could happen and make sure you have the ecessary drugs/forms/equipment.  It was mind-blowing.   One thing that helped me maintain my sanity was that all four of us were going together.  Thank you, God!

So the day came.  June 15th came, and we piled into the car and headed to Denver.  Stayed overnight there, as our flight left from there at 1:00 on the 16th.  Spent the morning of the 16th weighing and re-weighing and repacking and re-weighing our suitcases.  Finally decided a new suitcase was necessary to avoid risk of fines and went to Target to get one.  While in Target, my sweet sister called to say goodbye and that flipped a switch in me.  I was in tears when hanging up with her, and cried my way through Target.  Jack and Noah were bewildered.  :)

Our flight to Washington DC was uneventful, thankfully - this was the first flight I had taken with tubes in my ears and I was scared.  But Jesus held my hand, gave me peace, and it went perfectly.  We arrived late at night and headed to the beautiful hotel Ethiopian Airlines put us up in (even gave us 2 rooms because there were 4 of us!).  The next morning - the 17th - we boarded our 13 hour flight to Ethiopia.  We were pleasantly surprised with Ethiopian Airlines - nice plane, more legroom, and they fed us CONSTANTLY.  None of us slept much - in fact, I don't think the boys slept at all.  We landed in Ethiopia at 6:30 in the morning, and upon entering the "terminal," we were all overcome with culture shock.  The terminal was basically 1 room, with not enough chairs for everyone, and a couple "shops" (I use the term very loosely) and a restaurant.  It was smoky, hot and smelly. We used the facilities (Jack was mortified because there were women mopping in the men's room), did a couple laps around the room and finally secured some chairs.  We then escaped into our electronics and tried to ignore our surroundings.  And have I mentioned we stuck out like sore thumbs??  Oh my word.  This would be just the start of feeling very noticeable and out of place - - an experience that will ultimately be valuable, I'm sure, as we raise our African daughter in western SD.

Our last flight into Uganda couldn't have left soon enough.  And THIS was when the boys finally fell asleep.  HARD.  Their long 12 year old bodies curled up in the most awkward, painful looking positions in their seats . . but they were out COLD.  And because Ethiopian is so big on service, the sweet flight attendant was trying to pull down their trays on their backs/rear ends so she could leave their food.  I politely declined their lunches, and she looked shocked. 

We arrived in Uganda and got off the plane in the parking lot.  Right outside the front door.  Hilarious.  Filled out all our visa paperwork and proceeded to stand in line for ONE HOUR to get our visas.  Finally made it through immigration, got our luggage and found two people holding a sign with our names - such a comforting thing to have someone "know" you in such a foreign place.  Picking us up were Stella, a social worker with our attorneys' firm, and Hamza, the man who would be our driver during our stay.  They helped us schlep our luggage out across the gravel parking lot to his very small Toyota.  We could instantly see we had a problem, with 6 people, 5 very large suitcases, and carry-ons.  And it was raining.  Hamza ended up strapping a couple of our suitcases to the roof (which we later learned you shouldn't do, because they are often stolen in traffic!).  We all squished in and before we were 5 minutes down the road, Jack and Noah were sound asleep. 

The journey to our hotel was one I won't forget.  My eyes were seeing what my brain could not comprehend.  Shacks, lean-tos, shelters made of tin and tarps everywhere.  What few actual buildings we saw were mostly in complete disrepair.  Dirt, filth and people everywhere.  The best way to describe the smell was something similar to marijuana mixed with burning rubber.  Initially I thought we were merely driving through a bad part of town, but after an hour's drive of the seeing same thing the whole way, I could see this was really life Kampala.

From here, I'll post the day-to-day updates that I emailed to our family while we were there.  We didn't have the capability to call anyone, but were very thankful for the easy access we had to internet access! 

Our Adoption Story . . .

Ok so I'm not very good at blogging.  Have started and re-started this thing more than a few times and can't seem to stick. with. it.  However, it's become clear to me lately that I need to record our adoption "story" so that none of us ever forget any part of the amazing journey God has led us on.  And it will also be a handy tool to keep people updated during our return to Africa next month.  So here goes:

October 2009.  My mom, sister and I attend a Women of Faith conference in St. Paul, MN.  Steven Curtis Chapman is there and speaks about adoption.  He also does a mini-concert in which he plays "When Love Takes You In," with a video about adoption playing in the background.  I realize something weird is going on inside me - I'm completely bowled over by the message in this song, and feel God pushing in on my heart.  What?!?  I've never really considered this before!  Mark and I struggled with infertility for 3 years before having Jack and Noah - with a lot of help.  We always wanted more children, but the infertility road seemed so daunting.  Around this time, we did one round of IUI - which was an odd experience because I actually found myself hoping it didn't work - it didn't feel right.  I didn't want to go down this road again.  And then, this "moment" at Women of Faith.  This idea of adoption.  I laid in my bed that night in St. Paul and asked God, "Really?  REALLY?  Is this what you are telling us to do?" - Somewhat excited that I believed I had heard from God, but I was terrified, and thought I would need a burning bush to take even one step in that direction.

A couple years go by.  Adoption is discussed on and off by Mark and I, him being more open to the idea than me.  I convinced myself I was not equipped - it sounded all very fairy-tale-ish, and I worried I wasn't "that kind of person" - one strong enough to actually do it.  I thought people who adopted were strong, bold, confident, able to endure way more than me.  I was not equipped.  One day in church, a dear friend came up to us and told us while she was looking at our family sitting in church, she could "see" a little black girl sitting with us.  ???  I chalked it up to her being an adoptive mom of African boys and just general silliness.  :)

Discussions increased and our hearts were being pulled.  My boys were growing more independent and I wasn't done being a mommy.  Or at least I didn't want to be.  So around December of 2010, we began the process, terrified, but confident that God was asking us to step out in faith.  We were accepted into the Ethiopia program and started on our mountain of paperwork.  Spring of 2011 brought a debilitating health problem for me, that was difficult to diagnose and harder to treat.  We put a halt on the process.  Late fall of 2011, I was feeling better, so we called our social worker again.  She informed us the Ethiopia program had been slowed almost to a halt and was a general mess.  She encouraged us to look at China's waiting child program.  We did, we applied and were accepted.  About that time, health crisis #2 struck.  Me again.  This time, a condition that was mis-diagnosed - for 2 months - with a plethora of horrible drugs, and it actually sunk me into depression and a very scary place where all I could do was wearily reach out for God's hand.  Recovery took months.  We now know, at this point in time, our daughter was abandoned.

Right as I was feeling normal again in the spring of 2012, Mark was blessedly diagnosed with prostate cancer.  Why a blessing?  Because had he not been screened until he was 50, as is normal protocol, he wouldn't have lived to that point.  We were thankful, but so weary already, and faced yet another medical battle.  The interesting thing, though, during this crazy time, was that every time I drove by the Bethany office, I felt a pull, a longing.  I kept wishing I could pull into their parking lot, and get busy on the journey we had started.  Another interesting note was that during this whole horrible season, I was studying Acts of the Apostles in BSF, and the major theme throughout our study was the enormous OPPOSITION the disciples faced at every turn, in their efforts to spread the gospel.  I learned that God asks His people to do difficult things - to endure difficult battles.  I also learned that when salvation is at stake, Satan is at work trying to derail the effort.  Hmmm.

Mark underwent surgery in May of 2012 and spent the next couple months recovering.  Back to his normal self, we contacted our social worker to get things started - yet again.  She informed us that China would no longer take us, due to Mark's cancer diagnosis.  China's program requirements are very strict (even BMI has to be a certain number!), and they won't allow adoptions to people who have been diagnosed with cancer in the past 10 years.  Back to the drawing board.  She sent our application to every country Bethany works with, and the only countries that would take us, due to the cancer diagnosis, were ones in Africa.  In evaluating those options, one quickly rose to the top: Uganda.  It was a pilot (new) program and they were accepting 40 families.  We ended up being one of them.

Now, at this point in our story, some would say, why?  Why did you keep going?  Why didn't you throw in the towel?  You've already hit several roadblocks.  Valid questions.  But once God lays something on your heart, it doesn't go away - it stands the test of time and the tests of the enemy.  And obeying God is simply not up for discussion in our home - if He asks, we go.  While our medical struggles were scary and exhausting, through them, we saw God at work.  Frequently. We saw that when we reach the end of ourselves and our strength, He's just getting started.  He is in control and takes care of His people.  He loves to have us in impossible situations where we can do nothing but rely on Him.  His sovereignty, His providence.  While we came out of this season with that precious lesson, we had no idea how profoundly that conviction would later be put to the test.

So the winter of 2012/2013 was spent completing our homestudy, collecting mounds of paperwork for said homestudy, then completing our dossier (an adoption term meaning massive application), complete with MORE mounds of paperwork.  This included many goose chases - including to the doctor's offices (both ours and the kids), FedEx, the police department, the post office, the bank, FedEx, the accountant, the courthouse, FedEx, the local USCIS office, the post office, FedEx, and even included a 1.5 hour meeting with the county auditor and city attorney (just to get a document signed verifying our home address!).  Did I mention we spent some time at FedEx?  Not one stone in our lives was left unturned.  When each packet of paperwork (homestudy and then dossier) was handed to me, and I saw the lists of what we had to compile, I was afraid and intimidated.  But God showed me how to take it one. step. at. a. time. and not rush ahead and worry about the pieces of paper I didn't have yet. 

Our dossier was joyfully sent to Uganda on March 22, 2013.  And now we were in for "the wait."  We had heard of families getting their "referrals" (more adoption lingo for information on a child) within 1 week in this program, so we held our breath for the first 7 days . . . and then exhaled and decided it may be a while.   After that first week, we attended an adoption training, and our social worker gave us some discouraging and frightening information she had just received about the Ugandan culture.  Studies were coming out showing extraordinarily high alcohol consumption rates throughout the country in general, but more importantly, in pregnant mothers.  As a result, warnings abounded about children who are adopted may come with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS).  We felt like we'd been punched in the gut.

We'd come THIS FAR, and now this information.  What were we to do with it?  We quickly weighed our options - drop out of the program, switch to the Ethiopia program (with a 2-3 year wait), switch to a domestic adoption (which has PLENTY of it's own risks) . . . our heads were spinning.  One thing we KNEW to do?  Pray.  Ask God.  His answer, made clear through verses in our daily devotionals - wait.  Wait.  Wait on Me.  Don't do anything.  ??  Ok, weird . . . but if that's what You say, God, then that's what we'll do.  One of my BSF lessons at this time?  About how Abraham and Sarah tried to bypass God's plan for their family and create a family in their own way, on their own time.  It didn't turn out well for them.  Hmmm.  We knew He was asking us to trust Him and not run off to a different plan in a crazed panic, trying to control our circumstances.

April 26, 2013.  It's a Friday.  We are driving across South Dakota on I90, heading to Sioux Falls to celebrate my grandpa's 90th birthday with the entirety of my dad's side of the family.  We somehow (?) got into a discussion with Jack and Noah about the day we found out I was pregnant with them, and the subsequent day we found out they were twins.  It was a fun conversation - telling them the events of those days, our feelings, and how even when they were tiny dots on a screen, they were our babies.  We were discussing their entrance into our family, a conversation we'd never had with them before.  My cell phone rings - it's 12:06 p.m. and it's a Michigan number.  (Bethany is headquartered in Michigan).  Our paperwork was already in Uganda - there was no reason for them to be calling, except one.  I knew in that moment our lives were going to change forever.  I shakily answered the phone and it was our caseworker, who said she had some great news for us - she had a referral for us.   Wait a minute - what??  God, you told us to wait!  You were going to straighten out this whole FAS situation, weren't you?  The caseworker is still talking - it's a little GIRL (we had applied for either gender!) and she's 2.  I realize I'm in a puddle of tears and Mark and the boys are looking at me wondering WHAT???  As the caseworker keeps describing this little girl, my fears melted away and though we knew we needed to pray about her, I felt, on some level, she was ours.  I was told her name was Margaret.  Mark immediately said, "well then we can call her Maggie!"

In the days that followed, I realized God had told us to wait, to not act out of our fear, because He had chosen this little girl for us.  We had all of her information reviewed by 3 international adoption doctors, all of whom thought she sounded (and looked) quite healthy for being in an orphanage.  She had hit her developmental targets and appeared to be doing well.  While we know that's no guarantee, and many things aren't diagnosed in these kids until they arrive in the United States, we all felt she was ours - medical conditions or not.  Noah wanted us to call and accept the referral within hours of receiving it.  There was no question in his mind.  :)

We accepted the referral, and completed the necessary paperwork (I think we'll be doing paperwork on this until we are 85).  Our paperwork was submitted to the Ugandan court on May 23rd, and we were told it would take 6 weeks to get a court date.  We received our court date on May 30th - ONE week later.  :)  I love how God doesn't operate on human timetables.  We would need to be in Uganda by June 17th to spend some time with Maggie before our court date on June 24th.  Our lives switched into HIGH GEAR at that point . . .