A Dark Cloud . . .

. . . . seems to have settled over our house. We are stressed, y'all. I wish I had something more entertaining or newsworthy to post, but today all I can muster is to be real. Not that I'm usually artificial or anything, but sometimes you just need to strip the layers away and be more exposed than usual. Stress has just permeated our household and as a wife and mother, I'm desperately trying to figure out how to restore a sense of peace. Not that we are all arguing and fighting - we're not, so don't get that impression.

We're having a trickle-down effect from Mark. Have you happened to turn on the news lately? This country is a MESS. A mess. And we have an extremely childish person leading this country who has an astounding level of arrogance seeping from his pores and is determined to screw things up even further and is supported by people who are brainwashed zombies who will agree to any insane idea this moron comes up with.

But anyway.

For those of you who know what Mark does, he probably has the worst job in the world right now. He drags himself to work everyday just to get beat up one side and down the other. He manages to muddle through it, but he's lost his spunk, the gleam in his eyes. And as a wife, it's torture. I have to just sit and watch it. I can't help, I can't fix it, I can't do much of anything. Except pray. And try and have a peaceful environment at home for him.

Which brings me to our next issue - Noah. He's turned into an overreactive, emotional wreck. Over tiny ridiculous little things. And spacey, too. We joke that we have a teenage girl on our hands but really it's not so funny. I think kids can sense when things aren't right and he's so astute, and so sensitive, I think he's picking up on the fact that Dad isn't himself, and Mom isn't really herself either, even though we try very hard to hide all of it. I think he's feeling it. And he can't stand his teacher. Which is another form of torture for me - it is unbelievably hard to send him off every morning into an environment that makes him miserable. It's a sucker-punch to my heart. A positive, though, is that Jack is with him and I think that gets Noah through it. Noah is a very lovey-dovey, rules-oriented kind of person and his teacher is not either of those so that's the heart of the issue.

We reached a new level last night when Mark even told me to not answer the door anymore unless I'm expecting someone or can tell who it is. ?? I wondered why, and he said "Anne, I have clients that have lost hundreds of thousands of dollars and people tend to get a little crazy about that." Oh yeah, great. THAT makes me feel good. My brain hadn't even gone there, and my brain goes many, many places. But I hadn't gone there.

I am, however, being taught some valuable lessons. The state of this country and it's idiotic leader is no surprise to God. He's not ruffled. Or worried. He has a plan - for this country and for my family - but what I'm learning is that just because He has a plan, it doesn't mean it's my plan. And it doesn't mean it will be a comfortable plan. Or stress-free. Or convenient. But I do find peace in knowing He hasn't checked out. I also have enormous gratitude for the fact that I even have a husband to worry about, that he's bringing home a paycheck, as painful as it might be, that I have kids who pull on my heartstrings, and that we are all healthy and together. Things could be worse.

Okay, enough real-ness for a while. Got it out of my system. Next post I promise to have something much more lighthearted! :)